“That’s already been done,” she huffed out as she walked to the baby swing and put the baby into it before starting it so it swung from side to side in a slow motion.
“Good. Saves me the trouble,” I said, letting my body relax as I knew there was no longer a threat. “Did he say anything about why he wanted both of us dead?”
“No,” she answered, turning to face me once more. “I didn’t want to ask, either. I couldn’t risk my life.”
“Areyouokay?” I asked.
“As well as I can be,” she said.
Surely, she knew that was not the answer I was looking for. Wisely, I didn’t push.
“Alright, are we just going to not say what needs to be said? Because if so, you can just leave now. Save us the trouble,” she said, folding her arms across her chest.
“Avidya,” I sighed. “I’d rather do much more than just talking. But I don’t want to step over this line we have here between us. I don’t even know where to start. I want to know so many things, but where do I even start? Where would it be best to start without making you upset at me more than you already are? I screwed up, and I want to fix it. I just don’t knowhow. My entire family knows why you left, and no one told me shit about it! So how am I supposed to pretend what we had wasn’t a lie?”
“You know the reason why I left,” she stated calmly.
“Not entirely, no,” I said, trying to figure her out.
“Think back to that double date with Travis and Kenna,” she said.
Yeah, I could remember that. I wouldn’t call it a date with how it turned out. Avidya had calledredat the end, killing anything I had been trying to achieve. All I wanted for her was to see how Travis and Kenna were able get along so well with their type of relationship. They were happy, and I wanted nothing more than that for Avidya and myself.
I gave her a nod.
“Do you know the reason I called it all to stop?” she asked.
“We didn’t ever really talk about it,” I said. “It was only a couple of days before you upped and left. So no. I don’t know why you called it off. Everything. Not just that night, but everything.”
Before she replied, she took a seat on the couch, as far away from me as possible once more. She took a moment to gather her thoughts before going forward. She was the type of girl that always said what was on her mind—that hadn’t changed.
It was one of many things that I loved about her.
“You said you’d force me to have an abortion. You didn’t even listen to Kenna as she tried to make you see how much that thought hurt me,” she went on, her voice quiet. She looked down at the floor as she spoke, “That night…that night I knew I had no choice. I knew I was pregnant, Zach. And you clearly weren’t going to change your decision. You weren’t going to change that choice about taking away the only thing I wanted besides you.”
“So you just ran?” I asked, shocked. How could she hide this from me for so long?
“Yes,” she said, forcing back tears. “If I didn’t run, I would have told you. I’d have told you and you’d make me get rid of him.”
“I’d have listened,” I said, knowing the words were a lie as I said them.
If I hadn’t felt like shit before, I sure did now.
“No. No you wouldn’t,” she said with a sad laugh. “I know you well enough. Or at least I did. I saw it that night that you would never see reason. It broke my heart to leave, but I had no other choice. If I wanted to keep that little baby over there alive, and safe, I had to leave. I did what I had to do to make sure of that. I had to make sure you didn’t take him, and I will do everything to make sure you can’t.”
“Avidya,” I sighed, putting my head in my hands.
Was there any way I could fix this? Would she be able to forgive me?
Chapter 26
Avidya
Why did he have to make this so hard? Was he really stupid enough to think that he had done nothing to cause me to leave? Did he think that I left because of something that had nothing to do with him? What was I to do?
“I’m sorry,” Zachariah finally sighed out after a few silent moments.
“Yeah, that’s not going to cut it,” I replied. A simple sorry was not going to be enough. Not by a long shot.
