She didn’t look broken, so what the fuck was she talking about?
“Then why hide the fact you had a kid? Why not let them know? They certainly care about you. I have seen those two men that come by at least every other week since you arrived to this town. They care for you,” Krissy said.
“They are the only ones that know, and won’t tell anyone else,” Avidya said fondly. “If it wasn’t for the one getting me here, I wouldn’t even have this little one.”
“But you said he wasn’t abusive,” Krissy stated. “He’d certainly change his mind now.”
“My…he doesn’t like kids,” Avidya stated, her voice turning cold.
“But you love him. I can see how much you miss him,” Krissy said, clearly not getting the point. Neither was I. “Why can’t you just give him a chance?”
“I do love him,” she sighed out. “But this is my choice. If he wants to find me, he can. I won’t fight. I won’t throw a fit. I’ll let him do whatever he wants. But he hasn’t come to find me, Krissy. There’s been no sign of him anywhere for the entire time I’ve been here.” She paused, moving the baby down from her shoulder and laying him back into the stroller.
My mind still hadn’t processed that I was a father. I was the father, wasn’t I? I was sure no one could be, but still . . . .
How the fuck had no one told me?
“Why hasn’t he shown up, do you think?” Krissy mused.
“I’m guessing no one has told him,” Avidya shrugged. “Or maybe he has more important things to take care of. I’m surprised, actually. I’ve been expecting him to come at any moment since that first day I got here to drag me back home. But day after day, he hasn’t shown up.
“I can’t help but wonder if maybe he let me go without a fight,” she finished quietly.
If only she knew the half of it. I would have come sooner if I had known.
“Are you better off being here on your own, then?” Krissy asked.
“I have no idea,” Avidya said. “I miss being home. I miss having a family. But I gave that all up to have this little one. I have no idea what would even be left if I went back now.”
Not able to take any more, I pushed myself up and stood. Taking one last look at what I knew I would never be able to erase from my mind, I began to walk away. I had a child. Avidya made her choice, and I’d honor it.
For now.
