“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” she asked knowingly.
For once, her assumption was right on. I kept quiet, not able to answer her. I feared if I did, she’d somehow talk me into going back home. I desperately wanted to. I just couldn’t. Not yet.
“How far along?” she asked, her voice quiet.
“Almost seventeen weeks now,” I whispered out. “You can’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t. I promise,” she said quickly. “When will you come back? Toby hasn’t been doing well either.”
“I don’t know,” I said, taking a seat at the table. I knew that Toby would be affected, that was a given. Everyone was. “I don’t know if I ever will.”
“Okay,” Julia sighed, knowing there was no use in trying to get me to change my mind. “Where are you?”
“Somewhere,” I shrugged out. “I will come back when I am ready.”
“You’re safe, right?” she quickly asked.
“Yes,” I said, not having to think about it. “I have everything I need here.”
“That’s good,” she said, sounding like she was relieved. “Can I call you again?”
“Sure,” I said after a moment. I think I could handle talking to her more often. I missed everyone so much.
“Great,” she said, a smile in her voice. “Please, give Zach a call. It’d help him cool his temper some. I swear, that man thinks the world revolves around him.”
I couldn’t help but let a laugh out at that. It was a sad heartbroken one, but a laugh all the same.
“It’d make him feel better to know you are, in fact, okay,” Julia said. “Please. It’s the least you could do.”
“I’ll think about it,” I sighed out. I wanted to hear his voice, badly. Was it worth more pain? Would it solve anything?
“Thank you,” Julia said before hanging up. There was no good bye.
As I closed the phone, I let the tear fall. I missed them all so freaking much. More than anything else in the world.
But I had to keep on going.
Chapter 12
Zachariah
Monsters were my only friends now. My family, I had to give them credit, tried to make things better. But it was all a lost cause. There was nothing that could make me feel better. Nothing but my wife.
Since I refused to partake in the holiday, everyone came to me instead. I hated it. Why couldn’t they just let me do what I wanted for once? Why couldn’t they just let me stay home and wallow in my misery alone?
It felt like everyone was determined to make me see the light, whatever good that would do. The light had been gone for a while now.
With my family here, I sat in my office, wallowing alone as much as I could. Their voices reached me every so often. I did everything I could to block them out.
I couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like if Avidya was here. She’d have loved to be a part of all this. She’d maybe even have decorated the house, making it feel more like the holiday spirit. It certainly would make the house feel more like a house than a prison.
As the days passed, the house grew colder and lonelier. I had been spending as much time as I possibly could outside of the house. It didn’t matter what I was doing, as long as I didn’t have be here. Today was one of the very few days I had no option be stuck inside. I would have done anything to get out, but I knew if I tried, someone would stop me.
“How about you come join us?” Grandma said as she stood in the doorway. She gave me that look that said she’d bring the Don into it if she had too. My grandmother may look tiny, but her words were quite powerful when needed. Her and grandpa really were the perfect match; both strong-willed people who butted heads as often as they got along, but still wonderful together.
“Fine,” I sighed out. I stood while pinching my nose. Might as well get this over and done with. The sooner it was over, the quicker I could try to find something to take away my pain again. Not that anything was helping so far.
“She’s better off without you,” Grandma huffed, walking away.
