“I rubbed you down with lavender lotion, but I’m sure you will be sore for a day or two,” he explained. “Do you remember what happened?”
I shrugged, not entirely wanting to think, even though I knew I should.
“Let me guess, your thoughts are fuzzy?” he asked.
“Hmmm,” I hummed, nodding my head in answer.
“That’s to be expected when you are in subspace,” he mumbled to me. “Try to listen, alright.”
“Kay,” I sighed out, letting my eyes slide closed. It took too much work to keep them opened.
“What you are currently feeling is what is called subspace. It’s different for everyone, and no one that I know has gone into subspace so quickly,” he began. “Everyone can feel the effects differently. It’s like being between asleep and awake. You can feel everything to nothing at all.
“Normally, subspace is brought on with too much stamina in pain and pleasure. Sometimes, subs would be out of control and not able to tell when is too much. They are still awake, but unable to tell their Dom if it’s too much. Some subs are very vocal about wanting more, even if their body can’t handle it. In most cases, they will beg for more pain until they bleed, and even then they want more.
“It’s the Dom’s responsibility to know when a sub has had enough of anything when subspace comes along. I don’t ever try to force such emotions, because it can be scary if you have no idea what to expect. I didn’t plan for you, of all people, to tumble into it. It’s not a common occurrence, so I am surprised on how you reacted to so much stamina.
“You ended up passing out from the emotions of everything, which wasn’t what I was expecting. Actually, I wasn’t expecting any form of subspace, or subdrop, from you. I didn’t think you’d go so far, but again, you surprised me.”
He paused, letting the words soak in as I tried to understand them.
“You will most likely feel out of sorts for hours, possibly up to days. Like I said, every sub responds differently. I have no idea how you will, or how long and each time will be different, too.
“So, for today, we will just be lazy. I will make you eat and drink, but it’ll be whatever you want to do, within reason.”
“Okay,” I yawned out. “Why?”
“Why did you go into subspace?” he asked, making sure he was clear on my question. I nodded, too tired to do more. “I think the combination of being tied like you were, and the way I used your body caused it. You are more sensitive to stimuli it seems. I’ll just have to tread a bit lighter next time. I’ll have you tied to the bed is all,” he answered. The last bit was said more to himself than to me.
“For your safety, I’m not going to hardly leave your sight,” he went on. His voice alone nearly lured be back to sleep. “Go back to sleep, Kitten,” he laughed lightly, knowing I was fighting doing just that.
I wondered how he could know me so well before darkness fell over me again.
Chapter 35
Avidya
Dear Avidya,
I hope you are well. I’m…okay.
Travis won’t give up. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. But he is one determined man. He seems extremely adamant about us meeting.
I don’t know if that would be a wise choice on either of our parts. Not with where I am mentally. But in truth, I’d never be ready to see you face to face. I can’t fathom how you must feel about me. I gave you up before you could ever decide on your own. If I were you, I would hate me. Why would a mother willingly give up their child to save themselves?
Travis says you are well, which is good.
I don’t really know what to say here, as you can probably tell. My doc thinks meeting with you would be good, too.
I won’t meet the man you married. I can’t see him, as I have to keep my promise to the two men that helped get me somewhere safe. I can’t put the risk of saying something that would give away any involvement of someone he may or may not know.
It’s enough of a risk just to see you, but Travis says you will be in danger either way. It’s a shame that Aaron will not stop till he gets what he wants.
First, he wanted me, now he wants you. He wanted me dead because I had a child, one of which I gave away. Now, I’m sure he wants you because you are his heir, one of which will bring in money. I have no idea how he’d use you for money, but he would in any way he possibly could. He doesn’t want you dead anymore. He wants you alive and breathing.
So, for now, I’ll see you, but don’t expect anything out of me. I have no idea how drugged up I will be when you visit. So, I must apologize in advance for how I act, or what I say. If I still am alive by then.
~Racheal
