“I could eat,” I stated. I didn’t entirely want to move anywhere, even if I didn’t have to. Toby’s weight, although not much, held me in place. He certainly should be able to eat, too. He needed to so he wasn’t just skin and bones.
Violet smiled before standing up and making her way to the kitchen. It didn’t take long for Toby to look up at me, a question clearly on his face.
“Why aren’t you scared of men?” he asked.
“The ones that I have come to know won’t ever hurt me,” I said slowly. “They won’t hurt you, either.”
“How can you be so sure? Mr. Melio is loud and scary, and his brother is just…he’s all dark,” Toby stated.
“Melio just likes to make people happy, and to do that, he’s always loud,” I said, wrinkling my nose as I tried to explain to Toby. “He’s always been like that as far as I can recall.
“Zachariah, well at first he was scary when I met him, but I was in a scary place too. Once I got to know him, he’s not scary at all. He’s very nice and loving.”
“You love him,” Toby said, cocking his head in thought. It seemed as though he didn’t seem to understand the concept of loving someone, let alone someone that could harm anyone they wished to.
“Very much so,” I said. “I love him because he saved me and because he hasn’t hurt me. He loves me just as much.”
“Love made me be taken away from my parents,” Toby said, returning his eyes to the TV, although he wasn’t really watching it. “Uncle Ted said he loved me, and to keep me safe he took me to a cold, smelly basement somewhere and then bad things happened.”
“Some people are just sick in the head,” Melio said softly, much softer than I ever heard from him before. His voice frightened Toby, who jumped and pushed against me. Melio ignored the movement, tucking his hands into his pockets as he rounded the couch. “Some people, no matter who they are, can think that doing what they did to you, and even to Avidya, is love by sending you away somewhere that isn’t safe. That’s not love, son. Love, well, it’s hard to explain, but it’s not about causing you harm to keep you safe.”
“Love is a complicated emotion,” I said. “There is no way to describe how it should feel because it’s a very strong feeling.”
“Idon’tlove being with people who scare me,” Toby muttered angrily against me. He spoke it loud enough that Melio was able to hear, although he wasn’t meant to.
“No one should,” Melio said, his voice still quiet. “I hope that in time, you’ll see that I’m not scary at all. I just want to offer you a happy, safe place to live and grow. I won’t ever raise a hand to you, Toby. Ever.”
“You spanked Vee,” Toby said, glaring at Melio.
Zachariah bust out laughing from behind me. It was one of those deep, full out laughs. I couldn’t help but crack a smile.
“Yeah, well, my wife has a nice ass,” Melio shrugged.
“If I didn’t want my husband to touch me, I’d just kick him where it hurts,” Violet said, wiping her hands on a towel. She shot Melio a loving smile. Toby merrily watched on, his mind turning. “Who’s ready for breakfast?”
“I could eat an entire cow!” Melio said, a huge smile on his face.
“You could eat three and still be hungry,” Zachariah stated before turning to Toby and me. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Toby?” His voice was still hard, like it was to anyone outside of the family, but just a bit softer towards the boy that was attached to me.
Toby shook his head frantically, wrapping his arms around me as his chin began to tremble. His face was pressed against my arm, trying his best to hide from my husband.
“Avidya can stay with you,” Zachariah said.
“He’s not going to talk to you, Zach,” Violet said knowing. “It’s a feat in itself for him to talk to my husband.”
“Hey, I’ve been working on being less threatening!” Melio said, sounding appalled. “It was a first for him to question my motive.”
“That’s because my wife is an easy, safe place,” Zachariah said, shooting me a wink and a smile. “She’s my safe place, too.”
I gave him a sweet smile filled with love in return. I never felt this safe anywhere else, even growing up with parents that pretended to care and love for me.
“So, can I ask you something, Toby?” Zachariah asked. “I can ask, and I’ll leave so you can tell Avidya. That way you don’t have to talk to me, okay. Will that work?”
Toby shrugged against me, refusing to look his way.
“I don’t think it’s the best idea, whatever you are planning,” Violet said, her voice turning cold towards my husband.
“We need to know,” Zachariah stated, glancing at his sister-in-law. “Assumptions only go so far.”
“Fine,” Violet huffed, turning to leave the room with muttered words about not wanting to know the answer. She was getting attached to the young boy, but who wasn’t? I surely was.
“I’m guessing you’ve been hit by men a lot,” Zachariah hedged. When Toby nodded his head against my arm, he went on. “But what I’d like to know if anyone has touched you in your private areas.”
Toby’s body began to shake against me and his tears coated my arm. I was pretty sure that was enough of an answer, but Zachariah wanted words, not actions or physical responses.
“Just a simple yes or no,” he coaxed. “You can tell Vidie, okay? I promise none of us will think of you any differently.”
Tears gathered in my own eyes. How could any child go through anything that Toby had been through and even survive?
Zachariah stood, giving me a sad smile. “Please get an answer from him.” With that, he left us there on the couch. I was sure if it was any other time, my husband would have soothed my own worries, but he refused to take any more of an interest in the boy that was bawling his eyes out beside me.
