Chapter 12
Avidya
“Can you tell me your full name?” Carlos asked as he sat in the chair that he had moved from the table. Carlos had moved the chair so it was straight across from where Toby sat on the couch. Julia was on one side while I was on the other side of him. Zachariah stood almost in the shadows, a notepad and paper in hand to take notes.
“Toby Miller,” Toby answered weakly. His shoulders were hunched inward and shivers kept moving through his body. It wasn’t cold in here, but he was scared.
I knew that feeling all too well. It was a feeling I didn’t ever want to feel again if I could help it.
I purposely left my hand palm up on my knee, hoping that if Toby needed something to ground him, I was there. He needed something to keep him afloat. I hadn’t had something like that, and I think that would have helped.
Zachariah had been enough, but what if he hadn’t been? What if I hadn’t been given the chance to get to know this man? What if I had not been given to him at all?
“How old are you?” Carlos asked next, bringing me out of my past before the oncoming darkness descended upon me. I hated thinking about thewhat if’s. I couldn’t help how my mind went sometimes, though.
“Ten,” he asked, swallowing hard.
“You’re doing good,” I whispered to him with an encouraging smile.
“Can you tell me how you got into the hands of Shemoli?” Zachariah asked, his voice not cold, but yet not warm either.
“I don’t know,” Toby shrugged, staring at my hand. He wanted to take it as his hand twitched. But he was afraid to do so. “I . . . .”
“Go on,” I encouraged gently.
“I woke up one night to gun shots. That man was there and he took me. Said he couldn’t kill a kid like me,” Toby said, his voice going emotionless. “He took me.”
“What did he do to you?” Carlos asked, his voice gentle and leaning forward in the chair.
“Nothing,” Toby said all too quickly.
“Please, you need to let us know if you need to be checked over,” Julia said near tears. “Did he touch you?”
Toby nodded his head as one fat teardrop fell down his cheek. “Hit a lot,” he was able to get out.
“Did he touch your private parts?” Carlos asked.
My heart broke for this boy. He’d been through so much. Both of his parents were dead, and he didn’t have anywhere to really go.
I made the move, taking Toby’s hand into my own, letting him squeeze my fingers as tightly as needed. What I really wanted to do was wrap my arms around him, shielding him from the world. But I knew that wasn’t an option at the moment.
Toby shook his head fiercely back and forth.
“The truth?” Carlos asked again.
“I fought a couple of times,” Toby mumbled out. “He . . .”
“He tried, didn’t he?” I asked, squeezing my eyes closed.
“I didn’t let him,” Toby said as more tears fell. “I kicked him every time.”
“That’s all I have for now,” Carlos said, shooting a look at his own son.
Then, like I was expecting, Toby burst into tears, sobbing great, gasping sobs. Was he crying for what he’d gone through, or for losing his parents? Or possibly just crying out of relief? I wrapped my arms around him, bringing him into a side hug. Toby needed nothing but love shown to him, and I knew that the men in this room would never do such a thing.
Julia gave me a watery smile before excusing herself to the bathroom. Zachariah looked me over once before giving me a small, one-sided smile and leaving the room also. I had to wonder if children made him uncomfortable? Or was it just crying ones?
“It’s okay,” I soothed, rubbing my hand up and down his arm, being mindful that he may have bruises there, too.
