I’m not most women.I look at him and shake my head. “Actually, I don’t like having an allowance. It makes me feel as if I’m one of your employees rather than your wife.”
“Oh, I see.” Jack runs a hand down his face and stares at me. “Laura needed an allowance. I would put a certain amount of money into a bank account for her and she had a debit card. She knew she could spend everything in that account over a period of one month. She came from a wealthy family and was given carte blanche when it came to spending. Giving her access to a joint account would be like giving the inmates of a sanatorium the keys to the place.”
I shrug. “You told me on our wedding night that everything of yours was now mine. Why would I want to or need to spend so much money? I’d bankrupt you and that doesn’t make any sense. Yes, I’m frugal, but that works to your advantage, doesn’t it? There’s no way I would run through huge amounts of money without discussing it with you first. I’m not made that way and you should know that by now.” I sigh. “I wish you would stop comparing me to Laura, because we’re completely different people.”
“Okay, okay.” Jack chuckles. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing that. It must be very frustrating for you.”
I nod and drop the subject. “Have you considered my ideas for changing the bedroom you shared with Laura?”
“I have, and it’s not going to happen.” Jack gave me a solemn look. “I can’t possibly go into that room again. I can feel her in there; her scent lingers everywhere. It’s soul-destroying.” He takes my hand. “I’ve come up with an alternative plan. We move the kids’ bedrooms over to the opposite side of the house. They’ll love that because the rooms are much larger. Then we knock both their rooms into one huge bedroom. We can add a picture window that will blend in with the same design as the one in the living room and my old bedroom. It will pass scrutiny. I’ve runit past my architect, and he assures me it can be done without doing any damage to the historical value of the house. This will mean you will have an entirely new room. Somewhere you can make your own, without any ghosts of the past.” He squeezes my fingers. “How does that sound?”
Slightly dumbfounded, I blink a few times. “It sounds like a great idea but what do you intend to do with Laura’s things? Keeping them in situ like that isn’t healthy. It’s almost as if you are obsessed with keeping them.”
“Let me think on it for a while.” Jack leans back in his seat and stares out of the window.
The conversation is over. Have I hit a nerve?
I wait a few minutes before I ask the big question. “Jack, why do you keep Laura’s portrait? Isn’t it a constant reminder of the pain that you suffer? You’ve moved on by marrying me, so isn’t it time to put that painting in storage?”
“No.” His head swivels toward me. “That portrait is there to remind the children who their mother is. They may choose to call you mom, but I won’t allow them to forget Laura. Having the painting there is a constant reminder.”
I nod. “Fine but a few photographs would do the same thing and wouldn’t be so obtrusive.”
“Do you believe it should be your portrait hanging there?” He gives me a long stare and one dark eyebrow raises.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t. A nice landscape of the gardens would look better.” I take his hand. “How do you imagine it will look to your friends the first time we hold a dinner party? They’ll believe that, in your mind, I’ll never be good enough to be your wife and that I’m just a companion.”
“They won’t.” He shrugs and pats my hand. “You’ve been on edge ever since we arrived. Don’t you like my house?”
I meet his gaze and my cheeks grow hot. “Honestly? It’s not something I would choose for myself. I prefer new modernplaces with white walls, black leather furniture and tons of stainless steel and marble. You could build me the house of my dreams.”
“It was Laura’s dream house.” He sighs. “The kids are happy there. You wouldn’t want to take them away from everything they know, would you?” He pats my hand in a placating manner. “You’ll be happy there too. Just give it time. If, after six months, it doesn’t grow on you, I’ll build you a house.”
It’s an inch in the right direction so I smile at him and hold up my phone. “While we’re out today, I’ll take some selfies so you can have photographs of us together on your desk. I believe that would be good for the children to see as well. They weren’t old enough to see the relationship you had with Laura. It’s time for them to see what a normal, loving family looks like.”
“I’d like that.” Jack’s blue eyes wash over me. “I’ll have some photographs taken when we’re at the dinner parties as well. I’ll have them framed and placed on the mantel.” He indicates with his chin out of the window. “Manhattan looks wonderful from the air, doesn’t it? You’re about to have the time of your life.”
A wave of uncertainty hits me, and my stomach clenches. I’m moving into his world and I’m so not ready for this.
TWENTY-TWO
We land and the wind lashes me as I step down from the chopper. From here I can see buildings rising all around me, packed in without any space in between. It’s like a forest of bricks and chrome.
“I’ve made an appointment for us at Saks. You’ll love it. It was Laura’s favorite store.” Jack takes my hand as we leave the building. “We can walk from here. I would have had a car waiting for us, but with the traffic being as it is, it’s faster to walk, and it’s not like we need to carry anything. I’ll have everything delivered by courier.”
I look at him and wonder if he realizes what he is doing. The constant comparing of me to Laura is jarring—no, it’s downright unpleasant. It is as if I’m a replacement or he wants to create me in her image. “I hope to discover the stores I like. I don’t feel comfortable walking in Laura’s footsteps.”
“You’re nothing at all like Laura.” Jack frowns at me as if confused. “You’ve seen her photographs and the portrait. That was Laura, dressed in the height of fashion, and she never put a foot outside the door without having her hair and makeup perfect. We employed a stylist. They lived in the staff building and attended her whenever she needed them.” He smiles at me.“It’s how she was raised. Old money and a family that goes back generations.”
Does he even realize his comment is a putdown? I swallow the distaste crawling up the back of my throat and feel like Orphan Annie. “Well, everyone’s family goes back generations, Jack, or we wouldn’t be here. I guess it’s been difficult for you to make the switch from old money to a lowly actor.”
“They say love is blind.” Jack chuckles as if it’s funny. “When I met you, I didn’t care where you came from or your profession. It was love at first sight.”
I consider my answer as we walk. “I’ve met quite a few people from old money, as you call it, and most of them didn’t have a brain in their heads.”
“You can be so delightfully naive sometimes, Willow.” Jack stares straight ahead. “It’s never about brains—it’s about money.”
I stop walking, and he turns to look at me. I raise my chin. “It wasn’t for me. I didn’t marry you for money—far from it. You told me you were in real estate. I figured you sold houses, and I know that job can be lucrative, but most people just scrape through on the few sales they make. The cream of the real estate sales usually goes to the owner of the company.” I clear my throat. “You didn’t look like this then, did you? I mean, wearing a thirty- or forty-thousand-dollar suit, and I had no idea you owned the company who wanted the commercial. I was just auditioning. You could have been one of the crew for all I knew.”
