She placed a hand on his heart, aware of what it had taken for him to get there.
“I love you, Pepper. I’ve made so many mistakes. Never saying I love you is the biggest one.”
“And I love you too. So very much.” The water droplets on her face might’ve blended with the tear in her eyes. Or maybe not. Avery pulled him into another embrace and rested her head on his shoulder, looking out at the ever-darkening lake.
“I see Venus,” she said. “The sky will fill with stars soon.”
“I’m already holding the only star in my sky, Pepper. You know that.”
They didn’t go to bed until they’d taken a long shower together and made love on the new sectional sofa.Twice.
“I’m so happy we got another summer,” he whispered as they fell asleep. “Now,thatsummeris part of our story and not all of it.”
“Mm-hmm.” Avery nestled into the nook below his shoulder and smiled herself to sleep.
Chapter Thirty
Miles
Saturday, October 7th
Miles stepped to the edge of the party and scanned Lily and Nate’s wedding reception. It was a little weird, wearing a designer suit in a place reserved for flip-flops and bathing suits, but Montressa had risen to the occasion. Edison bulbs lit the lodge’s porch and fanned out over the lakeside ledge, casting everyone in a sepia-toned glow. He hoped the photographer took a photo from this spot, just outside of the party, looking in at the celebration. He wanted the dreamy image on his bookshelf, where he could pick it up years later and instantly remember this night, when everything was perfect.
Lily and Nate stood on the porch, in the center near the stairs leading into the lodge. Sam and Laurie sat under the eaves, listening to Miles’s father tell Dorothea his favorite story about Nate and Miles. At age ten, they’d built their own pirate raft during an extended playdateand decided to take it out for a spin. They forgot flotation vests, and when the raft sank in the middle of the lake, Miles’s father had taken a canoe out and made them swim back to Montressa’s dock. He’d paddled along beside them to keep the boys safe.
“It totally backfired.” Sam’s bellowing laugh echoed through the party. “The boys became obsessed with swimming across the lake and spent the rest of the summer trying to get there. Mark grew biceps paddling after them.”
Miles chuckled at the memory of his father’s toned arms. That winter, his father had done a hundred push-ups a day to keep those biceps.
At another table near the porch, Hayes and Anna Catherine were finally eating dinner after indulging every guest’s request for a selfie. Paulson sat next to them, flying a spoon around as if it were an airplane. Lennox’s bright eyes tracked the spoon right into her mouth and she clapped. Across the table, Victoria cooed and snapped their picture with one of the thirty vintage cameras she and Paulson had bought, loaded with film. They’d set one at every table and were planning to make a photo album for Lily and Nate.
At Victoria’s feet, Casper happily chewed on the large bone Miles had given him. Without the bone, Casper would’ve stolen a plate of hors d’oeuvres by now and started aSandlotstyle chase through the reception, demolishing the wedding cake and anything else in his path.
That save alone made Miles congratulate himself for being the ultimate best man.
He kept it to himself that at only a few months old, Tabasco already behaved better than Casper. Of course, she hadn’t come to the reception. He’d checked his nanny cam app a few minutes ago to find her snuggled in her crate in the Red House, curled in a ball. At first it seemed ridiculous to buy a nanny cam for his dog, but after experiencing anxiety the first couple of times they’d left her alone, Avery declared it worth it if itreassured him and he didn’t spend the whole time checking it.
Avery should’ve been easy to spot in the crowd in her slinky dress. She looked almost as gorgeous as she’d looked naked in his bed that morning. He’d hovered over her, placing kisses along her jaw, murmuring, “I already let the dog out,” as he continued down her body.
If he stood in one place long enough, he’d find her.
In September, she’d rented her own apartment in New York, only to spend most nights at his place. Two mornings a week, they walked to the Fashion Institute of Technology for her textile class. He left her there and continued on to NYU. Their sidewalk commute conversations were his favorite part of his day.
Saturday mornings were exactly what he’d always wanted. Waking up beside his girlfriend, making blueberry pancakes, and planning their day together. One Saturday, they’d explored Central Park with Tabasco and wound up at Anna Catherine and Hayes’s brownstone where, over midnight grilled cheese sandwiches, Avery had confessed she’d had a poster of Hayes on her wall in middle school. Another, they’d shopped in Brooklyn and met Hazel and Symona for dinner. Last Saturday, they’d bought Miles a new sofa. Avery insisted he put the nest sofa in storage because she had “ideas” for it. He couldn’t wait to see what that meant. Every night, he felt grateful for Avery’s head nestled into his shoulder.
Miles was happy, and no longer lonely. Out of gratitude, he touched his heart.
A few seconds later, Avery appeared beside him, her brow furrowed.
“I took a few photos from back there so I can paint this scene for Lily and Nate.” She covered the hand on his chest with her own. “Is everything okay?”
She must’ve noticed his hand on his heart and worried he was having a panic attack. But the wave rushing over him now was love.
“I’m fine.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m just standing here wondering why I feared feeling this complete.”
Avery held up three fingers, his cue to employ the 3-3-3 rule.Identify three objects. Identify three sounds. Move three body parts.The distraction of the exercise helped calm his anxiety.
“Pepper, I’m going to do it, but I want you to know I’m okay. I came over here to watch the party and had a realization. My hand is on my heart because my life feels right. I’m happy. Promise.”
