“Oh Avery, I’m so sorry. I’m partially to blame,” Anna said. “When I said you and Miles would be great parents, I overstepped. We talk about personal stuff with Miles all the time. But I went too far. I hope I didn’t upset things. I forgot you’re new to our group. It feels like I’ve known you forever.”
Miles always said Anna Catherine and Hayes were regular people, but Avery savored someone famous bonding with her.
“It’s okay.” Avery glanced back at the Red House. “But his reaction worries me.”
“I think I made him sweat.” Anna let out an uneasy laugh. “I have a habit of pushing too hard.”
Except Miles seemed anxious on the walk, way before Anna had entered the conversation. Walking a baby with a dog made Avery imagine the two of them in a few years. He could’ve envisioned the same thing. Maybe Victoria was right, and Miles didn’t want a family, despite being a natural with children.
“No, Anna, it wasn’t you. It was already weird.” Avery bent over and dragged a finger through the water. “I got the sense he doesn’t want children.”
Anna spun around, mouth wide open in shock. “What?”
“He doesn’t have siblings. I get the impression he didn’t feel parented as a teen, because of his mother’s illness. He told me he isn’t sure he’s equipped to be a parent.”
“No one is sure until they do it,” Anna Catherine said.
“The part about his teenage years is true.” Lily put on her sunglasses. “Miles was such a good kid. Never missed an assignment, overachieved at everything, never misbehaved. Never drank or smoked. His mother was in and out of the hospital all through high school. The guy parented himself, and he did a damn good job.”
Whenever Miles talked about the things he’d missed out on, Avery turned to mush and felt compelled not to challenge him. Doing so couldtake him farther into his pain. Besides, a lifetime together was a touchy subject for two people who just reunited.
“He had panic in his eyes and couldn’t get out of there fast enough.” Avery noticed a group of kids swimming out to the King of the Rocks. “The only other time he left that parking lot that quickly was the day we broke up. Maybe he doesn’t see himself with me after this summer. Victoria said we’d never last. She called him Mr. One and Done.”
“What? He never talks about the women he’s dated, except you.” Anna Catherine swam closer, pushing Lennox ahead of her. “He used to tell us he thought he’d seen you in random places, like in crowds or waiting for the subway. He wanted to know our opinion on whether he could be forgiven. Occasionally, he contemplated texting or calling you.”
“He did that with us too,” Lily said. “He always asked about you. And he wanted to know if you asked about him.”
Avery had never once asked about him, afraid of reopening the hole he’d left in her heart. When he asked about Avery, it must’ve been hard for Lily. If she’d been in Lily’s shoes, she’d have lied to make him feel better.
“One time, I asked if he had a photo of you,” Anna Catherine said. “He didn’t have one on him, so we googled you and when your photo came up… Avery, the warmth in his eyes could have melted an iceberg. Everything stopped. The house fell quiet. The kind of stillness where you can tell something is about to happen. He decided to find you that night. In the end, he didn’t contact you because Nate told him you were engaged. He said all he wanted was for you to be happy. But he said it with regret, like he wished he’d been the one who’d made you happy.”
“He might need more time,” Lily added. “He’s relied on himself for so long. Maybe his dreams are coming true, and it’s overwhelming.”
They’d also entered the relationship with their own trepidations. Avery couldn’t let go of the worry that whomever she fell for might not love her the way she loved them. That fear stayed glued to her like aninvisible tattoo. In the Boathouse, Miles had admitted he’d spent a long time telling himself all the reasons he didn’t deserve her. Maybe a piece of that still lurked in him.
“This morning was stressful.” Anna Catherine shook her head. “But I promise he’s different with you. Hayes and I were just saying last night how this is the first time we’ve seen him so relaxed and content.”
It helped to hear Miles’s best friends had noticed a change.
“Thank you,” Avery said. “He called me his girlfriend. That’s great, but it also feels like whatever I say becomes clouded with motive. I don’t want to push him into something he isn’t ready for, and this morning wasn’t the best time to take a deep dive into our future.”
“Hang in there,” Anna said. “Let him get used to the idea of the two of you. It may take him longer than the average guy to open up about the big stuff.”
All three of them stared out at the lake where the group of kids had made it to the King of the Rocks.
“I used to be petrified of swimming out to that rock. It’s so far out and so deep all around it.” Lily took another sip of water. “The cool thing about people is we learn how to do all kinds of things we were once afraid of. Miles’ll get there.”
“Yeah.” Avery stood. She needed a moment to herself and a glass of water. “I’m going inside to get something to drink. Y’all need anything?”
As Avery walked into the A-frame, she decided this weekend was for having fun. Miles took a big step introducing her to his friends. They could discuss their futures over time, which they’d already set aside. After a quick trip to the bathroom, she opened the refrigerator. The entire top shelf was filled with pint-sized bottles of chocolate milk. For one man. She let out a chuckle and chose sparkling water.
The back door creaked.
“Avery.”
His voice prickled every hair on her neck. She closed the refrigerator door and met his gaze. The color had returned to his face. Miles opened his arms wide. He wanted the same thing she did. She put down her can.
As soon as he wrapped her in his embrace, her entire body relaxed. His did the same. He squeezed her tighter, taking a long inhale, as if he were smelling something he loved.
