“I didn’t know what I was getting. I still don’t. Explain to me what I got.” She shifted her gaze and narrowed her eyes at him. The only way off this dock was past her, and this time, she wasn’t letting him walk away.
Miles took a minute to gather his thoughts. His chiseled jaw relaxed, softening his expression. His chestnut eyes turned the color of maple syrup.
“You knew from the start I was broken. I was too young to understand that you’re never done grieving the loss of a parent, especially if you bottle it up inside. Which doesn’t justify how I ended things.” He let out a tired sigh. “After the trauma of saving Max, I said things I can’t take back. I made mistakes. I should have called you afterward. At least to say I was sorry.”
His face filled with an astounding sadness that made her stomach clench. He stepped toward her, and his warm hands cupped her shoulders. “The one good thing that happened the year after my mom passed was you. You’re the only woman who’s ever had all of me, and I couldn’t have picked a better person.”
Avery’s heart tightened into a ball. Like her, he’d hurt all this time too.
“Since then, I haven’t wanted to give my heart to anyone.” His voice cracked and he rubbed his jawline. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. But you haven’t given me the chance.”
With one hard swallow, all her words vanished. Had Miles never had another girlfriend? Maybe he had but had held part of himself back. Avery could relate. She’d loved Trent—but their love had never come close to what she’d felt for Miles. For the last decade, she’d thought Miles hadn’t felt the same way when all the while, their breakup had brokenhim too. He’d closed his heart and never opened it again. Assuming he was happy had been easier than learning Miles had given up on love. She’d never wish that on anyone, especially him.
They stood side by side, watching a pair of ducks out on the water. Casper paced the dock, sniffing and panting. A gentle wind rustled through the trees. If they hadn’t been discussing their relationship’s aftermath, she might’ve suggested they eat lunch on the dock, like they did that summer.
How had they wound up here, staring out at the lake, him finally admitting the depth of what he’d felt a decade ago? It was all so profoundly sad, she wanted to reach across the inches between them, wrap an arm around him, and pull him to her. Bury herself in his chest and smell her Miles. The one who smelled like an evergreen forest after a light rain, with notes of lake air, sweat, and chocolate milk.
A little bit like earth, a little bit like water, a lot like heaven.
She stole a glance at his hand as it flexed and relaxed. They couldn’t go back to what they’d had, and she wasn’t sure that was what he wanted. He kept saying they were friends.
Neither one moved, and a small part of her knew that was for the best. The comfort of his embrace wouldn’t heal the last decade. She couldn’t process this new information standing so close to him. Especially when his deep, broody stare channeled the hot model in a glossy cologne ad.
Casper stopped pacing and crouched beside Miles, eyes wide, face straining. And there on the dock, he finally found relief. Out came a tube of lip balm. Avery gasped as her hand flew to her mouth. It took everything inside of her not to giggle.
“Well, look at that.” Miles’s smug grin was beautiful. They laughed, the tension releasing into the light breeze.
She pulled a poop bag out of her pocket. “Um, I’ll clean that up.”
Miles took the bag from her hand.
“Nah, I’ll get it.” He nodded up the lakefront path, where Casper was plodding back to the lodge. “Go take care of Casper. Poor guy needs a little TLC.”
The dock creaked as she walked off. Avery thought about turning back and admitting to Miles how often she had thought of him in the intervening years. She’d tried not to, but she often mistook runners in the park for him. Milk bottle caps sent a ripple through her heart. Eclipses, meteor showers, strawberry moons. She’d watched every astronomical event because knowing both of them might be looking at the same thing felt like a warm hug.
Avery made a deal with herself to peek back at the dock once she reached the bend. If their eyes met, she’d worry about Casper later, run back, and wrap her arms around Miles. They would figure out the rest. If not, she’d leave him be.
By the time she turned around, he’d turned his focus to a boat engine, his ratchet wrench clicking as he loosened a spark plug.
Chapter Six
Miles
Thursday, May 25
After six busy days and five restless nights in New York capped off with a delayed flight and a bumpy landing in Portland, Miles wanted to apologize. He hoped the small gift he’d brought Avery adequately conveyed his regret for telling her who not to date. At the very least, she would use it.
He’d spent a good few days in New York, sleeping in Hayes and Anna Catherine’s guest room so as not to bother the Coopers, who were staying Miles’s apartment. Hayes had set up a meeting with the grief therapy team at NYU, and they’d walked out excited about their camp. The visit coincided with the premiere of Hayes’s new action movie,Counterblow,which Miles attended solo. He only wanted one person on his arm these days, and how best to apologize to her had been on his mind the whole evening, even when the audience had cheered at his cameo.
Inside the lodge’s front door, Casper sniffed every inch of Miles’s pants, his tail wagging wildly.
“Hey boy, you okay?” Miles asked after Casper whimpered. And then Miles realized he’d been wearing these pants when he had visited Sam the day before. The poor dog missed his best friend. At least Casper had Avery loving on him. Lucky dog.
Once Casper calmed down, Miles searched for Avery. As he placed the gift bag at the empty front desk, he heard rustling from the back office. Miles started through the door at the same time Avery walked out. They collided, and she let out a yelp.
“Miles, you scared me!” Her hand clutched her chest in shock.
“I didn’t mean to startle you.” He held up his hands in surrender. “You okay?”
