Tears sting my eyes. “I want him to go away,” I whisper, not for the first time. I try to blink through my tears. I hate crying. I hate that weakness.
Ellory holds me tightly, rubbing my back.
“He will never love you like I do.”
“How do I make him go away?”
Ellory shakes his head. He doesn’t know. No one knows. Not a single person has had a suggestion on how to successfully purge my mind of Ryan Johnston, so he’s still here. Haunting my days, giving me nightmares.
“We’ll find a new therapist,” Ellory says. “There has to be a good one out there somewhere.”
I nod because what else am I supposed to do? It’s not that I hate my therapy sessions. I think I’ve grown out of them. I’ve gotten everything I’m going to get from them. Not a single one of them has made Ryan go away. No one has moved me beyond this plateau.
No matter how many times I talk about my past, I’ve healed to the point I’m going to. The only hindrance I have in healing more is Ryan’s ghost living on in my head.
“I promise we’ll find an answer for you, Malin. We won’t stop until we find someone to make his memory go away.”
“Okay,” I whisper. I take a deep breath. I’m tired of telling my story to new people. But what if this next one is the one who has the answers? I can try once more.
It’s the same thing I’ve told myself countless times before. Just one more therapist. I’ll tell my story just one more time. This one will be different. They’ll make Ryan go away for good.
4
GRACEN
There’sa pyramid of presents on the table as I approach. Of course there is. I wouldn’t expect anything less from Kairo’s kid. I set mine on the table, not bothering to try to add to the pyramid. I’m sure if someone is going for aesthetics, there’s a person designated to maintain the pyramid.
It’s not difficult to spot Kos. Kairo hasn’t given the boy a haircut yet, and his hair is in two elastics on the very top of his head like little horns. Not kidding. I both love it and find it very disturbing. Kairo’s kid being a demon? Yeah, that tracks.
“Hey, brother.”
Sighing, I turn around to find Cole with a wide smile on his face. “What’re you doing here?”
“The same thing you are. Celebrating Kairo’s kid’s birthday.”
“You’ve never met the kid.”
“Not true. Christmas. Thanksgiving. His first birthday,” he rattles off.
“If I put him in a lineup with all the kids, you’d have no idea which one he is.”
“You’rehere.”
“I’ve been living here for years now. Me stepping out of my house to attend the party is different from your flying halfway around the world to come to the birthday party of a kid you barely know.”
“I’m a Van Doren too,” he says and turns away.
I’m not shocked to find our father chatting it up with my great uncle Jalon. You justknowthat Dad isn’t the one continuing the Van Doren line in my family. That would be my mother, who likely didn’t waste the money to attend a two-year-old’s birthday party he won’t remember tomorrow.
I’ve always thought Dad married Mom so he could be a part of the Van Doren family. Not because he loves Mom. Maybe he does. The real question is why Mom married my dad. The way he foams at the mouth and basically fangirls over Jalon is embarrassing.
I know what it’s about. It’s the same reason Cole is here. Neither is truly a part of Van Doren Technologies. They work for the company, of course, but they’re in sales or lower management.
They aren’t privy to the secrets.
Cole tried to follow me into private investigating, but he was shit at it. No amount of throwing his surname around got him hired. Sensitive information goes through that part of the company, and no one was going to take a chance of Cole getting his hands on it.
Turning my attention from my family, I scan the growing crowd for Malin. He’s not here yet. None of the triplets or their families are.
