Talking to my neighbors reminds me of talking to my grandparents, though they’re closer to my parents’ ages in their eighties. Maurice still has a whole lot of fight left in him. That man still runs several miles every single morning. I’m not sure I could pull that off.
Switching back to my text conversation, I type:
Me
You can leave at any time. The neighbors are going to stop in to let Martha out at lunchtime.
Seth
Thanks, Dad. I promise I wouldn’t be leaving early if it weren’t an emergency.
My smile is sad. I can feel the sadness settling in my chest. Disappointment. I wonder how many times my kids felt this when I said I wasn’t coming home.
Me
I understand. Let me know if you need help replacing anything.
Seth
Thanks, Dad.
I click my phone off and turn my attention to the window. We’re still making our way through Los Angeles, so we’re looking at buildings too close together and cars right on top of each other. Traffic, smog, and heat. So very different from Iceland.
“Everything okay?” Byndley asks.
I nod. “Seth’s pipe burst. Apparently, his roommate came home to their apartment flooded with a couple inches of water.”
“Ouch.”
“Yep.”
She grips my shoulder in support before sitting back in her seat.
I spend much of the ride flipping through our handbooks to note the rules on fraternization. Outside of being discouragedbetween subordinate and insubordinate academic relationships within the same department, it’s a little vague.
Of course, there’s a quid pro quo policy both for employees as well as between faculty and students. That’s not just an RDU policy but a federal policy. As it should be. But the rules of the school are definitely vague. I can’t help but wonder if that’s purposeful.
The bus is quiet as we pull up to the school. I imagine everyone is going to crash as soon as they get back to their dorms. I’d be lying if I said I won’t be tempted when I get back to my empty house.
We’re quiet as we climb off the bus. As everyone is grabbing their luggage from underneath, Byndley says, “I know we’re all tired, so go settle in and rest up. If you can pull it off, try to stay awake for a few more hours to help your body reset. Debrief meeting on Thursday afternoon. Keep an eye on your emails.”
She looks at me, inviting me to say something. I’m so damn tired, I’m not sure what I’m going to say.
“Thank you for being a part of this.” My voice has everyone turning to face me. My eyes snag on Brevan. “This has been an amazing trip for so, so many reasons. A large part of that is you. I couldn’t have asked for a better group to represent this school. Go get some rest, and we’ll catch up next week once we’ve had time to digest everything we’ve learned.”
The group tiredly gives their thanks before moving away. They’re all moving slowly, dragging their suitcases as they head down the sidewalk toward the dorms.
Byndley grips my forearm gently in departure on her way by. Katai raises her hand when she’s done speaking with the driver. I watch almost absently as Declan comes around the corner to meet Zarek, and they embrace for a long time.
My chest feels tight. I haven’t received that greeting in what—two decades?
Eventually, it’s just me left. I’m not sure when Brevan took off, but that’s okay. He’s probably exhausted, like everyone else. I’m surprised when I turn and find him waiting at the intersection that crosses the road. He’s looking back at me with a small, tired smile on his lips.
I meet him there and would love to take him in my arms like Declan did Zarek. I don’t.
“Heading to your dorm?”
He nods.
