The idea gives me goosebumps. It won’t happen while I’m a student, but it’ll happen within my lifetime. I’m so excited to be a part of it.
I wonder if I can somehow make my someday dream library a supportive place for this new adventure. RDU already has a great library, but mine will be unique. How can I make it support RDU’s mission, though?
We’re still talking animatedly about the promise that both of the new programs we just dreamed up will bring to the mission of CAP and the even newer Queer Together Network.Dr. Albertson is convinced that the world is going to want to be a part of it because we’re going to be doing something big.
My peers stop him, though. It’s not enough that a school wants to be a part of it. They need to be not just queer-tolerant. That’s not going to fly. The entire point of CAP is to establish safe environments for young queer people to get a top-notch education without having to face bullying, hate, and hazing every day.
“We shouldn’t have to live in fear just to get a college degree,” Philomena says. “Not everyone who wants to be part of our programs gets to join us.”
“She’s right,” one of the þórðargleði students says. “We always need to rememberwhywe’re doing this. We’re building something strong and monumental, and the reach we’re going to have is going to be noticed. Maybe envied. But that doesn’t mean they get to come on board.”
“I agree,” Kendrick says, inclining his head. “You, my students, are always at the heart of what we do. I have a very long list of criteria that a school, and those running it, need to meet before they’re allowed to partner in CAP. This isn’t about creating a giant network. It’s about creating a better future foryou.”
“Yes!” Dr. Albertson agrees. “Definitely. I’m all for this. þórðargleði University is so excited and honored not only to be a part of this Queer Together Network but to be Rainbow Dorset University’s very first sister school.”
Kendrick grips his arm in agreement, but his eyes meet mine. My stomach flips.
CHAPTER 18
KENDRICK
It’s been easy to see that Brevan doesn’t do well when he’s under the microscope with everyone’s attention on him. He’s not afraid to voice his thoughts and ideas, but he’s immediately self-conscious if they’re not received well.
I remember what Zarek overheard the girls say about him, and I have a feeling it’s not the first time he’s heard those words or something similar regarding himself. Brevan is far from adumbjock. Maybe the most promising future we’ve imagined together on this trip has come from Brevan’s idea.
Humble, sweet Brevan. You don’t become self-conscious like he is with tons of encouragement and support. Which leads me to believe he’s heard similar words for so long that he believes them. That’s only backed up by Byndley’s report on Brevan stopping by the office months ago to tell us there’s been a mistake in his invitation to the program.
Hmm, maybe that’s the answer. Brevan was chosen by his coach. Over a hundred students on his team and Coach Lemon chose Brevan, knowing that this young man was the best candidate to be a student ambassador.
That very well might be the answer. It’s not like we need the students to pull transcripts. Administration has access. We havetheir student files. Anything we need to know academia-wise, we can find. What we need is a handful of someones voluntarily suggesting students who fit a profile.
That profile needs to include someone who doesn’t talk about people they don’t know, like the two girls did about Brevan. Anna and Philomena have been good members of the group aside from that one incident, but nevertheless, that doesn’t give them a free pass for making someone feel like shit about themselves.
Seeing how the people assembled here have enthusiastically embraced Brevan’s idea and excitedly talk about it as if we’ll be able to get it into place as soon as we get back makes Brevan relax. There’s not much pride in his expression as he looks around, almost as if he’s not the one who thought it up.
He’s simply happy that they like the idea. He’s content to sit back and listen, lunch long since forgotten. I’ve been watching him far more than I should be, but I can tell how observant he is. Though… not quite so much when he’s being flirted with.
Brevan pays attention to people. He studies them and listens to everything they say. He’snotaware when Xile flirts with him. I might have thought this was an act except that we spent a few hours at the pub playing trivia last night, and though Xile never missed an opportunity to flirt or make an innuendo, Brevan was entirely oblivious to it.
That might also point back to his self-consciousness. There’s a chance he doesn’t see himself as someone that another person might desire, so he can’t fathom that someone is showing an interest.
We break around two. It’s a little after the time we’d intended to break, but the kids weren’t eager to leave as they continued to talk about the possibilities. When Magnus announced we were done for the day and that we’d see everyone tomorrow, discussion turned to tomorrow’s events. The þórðargleðiUniversity kids changed track of the conversation to tell mine about tomorrow’s community day.
I linger long enough to make sure my kids leave. When we’re outside, Byndley calls, “The shuttle to the Domes will be leaving in fifteen. You’re not required to get on! You’re all adults, so I’m going to remind you we have a long day tomorrow, so make sure you get some sleep.”
Several ‘Yes, ma’ams’ filled the air. Byndley meets my eye before climbing onto the shuttle. I linger as I talk to a couple of the students, keeping my eye on Brevan, especially since Anna and Philomena approach him.
Brevan begins backing away, but they get in his path, stopping him.
My gut twists, and I’m ready to go over there before I hear Anna’s words, and they make me pause.
“Brevan, can we talk to you for a minute?”
Brevan looks at her warily, his cheeks already red, though that might be from the cool air. He inclines his head, not meeting either girls’ eyes. I follow their progress off the sidewalk and out of the way to a somewhat distant location for a private conversation.
Fortunately for me, they’re not far enough away that I can’t hear.
“I think maybe you overheard our conversation at the airport in L.A.,” Anna says. Brevan shuffles on his feet, giving her a single, minute bob of his head in agreement. “I’m sorry. It was mean, and I was wrong. Those words should never have left my mouth.”
