When I close my eyes, I can still see the way Brevan walked toward the lines to board when the announcements were made to begin lining up. The way his shoulders sagged. His cheeks flushed. His head bowed as he refused to meet anyone’s eyes. The aura of sadness on the plane.
I hate that. I hate that someone I chose to be here, representing the good that RDU represents, made him feel that way. Not one person but two.
There’s something far crueler about overhearing nastiness directed at you than when someone says it to your face. When they’re direct, nine times out of ten, you know they’re just spewing shit that they think will hurt you. They don’t necessarily believe it or think it. It might just be something they know you’re insecure about, and therefore, they know they’re going to stick a knife into a sensitive area.
But when they don’t know you’re there and they say awful things? I’d wager a guess they believe it more than when they’re saying it outright.
And that hurts more.
Closing my eyes is a mistake. Even as the frustration with the two girls and how they made Brevan feel lingers while I half-heartedly attempt to figure out a solution to avoid people like that in the ambassador program in the future. Sleep pulls at me from all directions, threatening to drag me under.
I jump when my phone pings. My eyelids feel heavy as I dig it out of my pocket. My son. I hope everything is okay with Martha.
Seth
Are you in Iceland? Did you land safely?
A smile touches my lips. You only ask that if you care about someone, right? It gives me hope that what I let break between us can be repaired.
Me
I’m sorry. Yes. Flight was easy. Nothing to report, which is the best kind of flight. I’m currently trying to force myself to stay awake, though it’s proving to be a losing battle.
Seth
Haha no doubt.
Me
Everything okay there? You and Martha getting on okay?
Seth
It’s cute that you think of her like a toddler that I might have to struggle with. Yes, we’re fine. She’s currently holding down my legs so I don’t float off.
A picture follows of Martha lying across Seth’s calves. Her full body. I chuckle.
Me
Perfect. She’s just making sure that she’s not going to miss you going to get a treat without her.
Seth
Or if I want to take a piss. Who knew that was an activity that I needed protection while doing?
I laugh out loud. Living with dogs is hilarious like that. If you need to take a pee, they’re there guarding the door. If you need to sit on the toilet, they think that’s their time for you to scratch their ass. Showers, with those horrible, non-see-through curtains, are devil time, and Martha barked at the curtain for the first eight months I had her, convinced that it was torturing me.
Me
Bathroom time is not private time. I suppose I should have warned you.
Seth
In the middle of typing a reply, my phone rings. Why does it sound so loud? Ah. When Natalia’s name flashes on my screen, I understand. Somehow, she always makes my ringtone louder than it is. As if it’s preparing me for her screams.
I shouldn’t answer. Whatever she wants, it can wait. And yet, I hit answer anyway.
“Hello.”
