“You should know that he’s ready to leave if we can’t stop fighting,” Notto says.
“I’m not letting him leave,” Keary hisses, making Kaida growl.
“You can’t force him to stay if he doesn’t want to be around you.”
“Funny since you force your presence on me and have for the last three decades,” Keary argues.
“You really want to fight right now after I just told you that he wants to leave because we can’t stop fighting?” Notto asks. “Not to mention, how fucking hypocritical you are. You’re angry we’re forcing our presence on you when you fully intend to force yours on someone else. Do you even hear yourself?”
Keary doesn’t answer.
“It’s time we have a fucking conversation, Keary. Don’t ignore me. I’m not going away. We need to talk like civilized fucking people.”
Keary inhales deeply. “We do,” he agrees. “But we end up fighting because you won’t take no for an answer. What else do you want me to say?”
“I want you to tell me no with a legitimate reason why, as I’ve said all along. As far as this topic is concerned, everything out of your mouth is a lie. You get just as angry with us when wedoleave as you are when we stay. Over the last several hours, you just proved how much you love Drystan by doing anything you could to keep him from slipping into another panic attack. Newly added to my reasons for calling bullshit on you is the factthat you’re insisting this human be yours in a way that you refuse to be with us. Why? Why is it okay to mate the human pet when you refuse us?”
It's a long time before Keary answers. “I don’t know,” is what he ends up with, but Notto is having none of it.
“That’s bullshit.”
Keary huffs in frustration. “I don’t want to play house.”
Uh… that comment feels very out of the blue. What does that even mean? I’m relieved when I’m not the only one confused.
“What?” Notto asks.
“I have no interest in living on base or in a small community. I don’t want to have a house and a perfect little domestic life. That’s boring, and I hate it.”
“Did we ever say that’s what we wanted?” Drystan asks, proving he’s awake too. I bet he’s been awake as long as me, just listening.
“Isn’t it, though?” Keary asks. “You’ve said you want kids. You know gods struggle with breeding on a good day, so I’m not even sure how that’s going to happen. Conception aside, does that not mean you want to gosettle downand have a family and be like every other fucking monster on those damn bases?”
“Even if you shoot blanks, there are other options,” Notto says. “ Drys will carry our young. I think that’s pretty clear since no one else here is able, so I’m not sure where you came up with this weird idea that it’s all on you. And again, no one said that we had to go back to base to have kids.”
“I don’t want to go back either,” Drystan says. “It's nice to visit, but my memories just feel far too fresh. They still recognize it as the place I'd been taken when rescued. It leaves an icky feeling in me. Besides, we never said kidsright now. There’s no deadline.”
“You think we can raise kids out here?” Keary asks.
“Why not?” Notto asks. “And again, it doesn’t have to be now or tomorrow or even next year. It’s always been a ‘someday’ want, Keary. If we wanted one now, believe it or not, you don’t have to be involved in that process at all. We could have made it happen already.”
Keary huffs again.
There’s shuffling in the room, and the glowing lights from the cracks in Notto’s body come to life again. How does he turn them off? The light bathes bits of him in an eerie white glow, allowing me to track him until he’s in front of Keary and me.
“We don’t want to be anywhere you’re not,” Notto says. I watch his hand move through the darkness and cup the back of Keary’s head. I can barely see Keary’s features now. “I have no idea what made you think that we were going to demand to goplay house,but I swear to you, it was never on our minds at all.”
“That’s what people do,” Keary says. “That’s what they expect.”
“I don’t give a fuck what people do or what they expect, and I’m shocked that you do.”
Drystan snorts. “No, he doesn’t.”
I see the barest hint of the way Keary’s lips curl.
“Can we go somewhere in the light and talk about this?” Notto asks.
“I don’t want to wake Rainer.”
