We’re going to have a lot of fun.
CHAPTER 26
SHIVELY
I admitthat while I hated writing a report—that’s certainly a punishment for me—researching the Isle of Kala did a lot to ease my mind. I spent a good long time looking at just the NDA that everyone signs as well as the terms of service regarding anonymity and technology.
While I knew that Dasan wouldn’t do anything to put either of our careers at risk, I feel better having read everything for myself. Which was likely why he decided to give me that particular punishment. There are still two punishments hanging in the air that he hasn’t decided on after having determined that my report was a punishment for not trusting him.
He’s right. I need to trust him. Idotrust him. But even my trust doesn’t dissuade my fear of being caught. The more time we spend together, the more I realize that my fear isn’t just in regard to my job. Maybe moreso, it’s fear of getting caught and losing Dasan.
Today’s fear is something else entirely. Yesterday, we spent the afternoon and evening in our remote cabin while I performed sexual services for my alpha. It was probably the hottest, most satisfying day of my life. The way he took pleasure in everything I did for him.
Beyond the physical pleasure though was his pleasure in me. When I brought him water. When I ordered us room service. When I answered the door at his request in nothing but a towel around my waist to retrieve the room service. When I washed him.
Everything I did seemed to please him. I was fucking high with that feeling. Seriously, like coming out of my skin, high as a damn kite.
But right now, we’re on the ferry heading to Bane Island. This is a residential island which means there’s technology here. Knowing this has me tense, despite trying not to let it bother me.
“The man I’ve been talking to is a dom named Miles,” Dasan says. I stick close to his side, my anxiety rising the closer we get. “He has a full-time sub named Benji. There are two other full-time dom/sub couples, then there are three single doms and two single subs. My understanding is that for these meetings, those singles typically pair up for scenes.”
“Scenes?” I ask.
“It’s the term they use to describe a planned BDSM encounter or activity. Sexual activity, power exchange, mutual kink. That kind of thing.”
“So… Do we have scenes?”
He smiles, his arm wrapping around my waist. “I think we do, though it’s not planned. This is one of the things I’ve left up in the air because I’m not truly comfortable in this role yet as far as how I’m supposed to conduct things, such as scenes.”
I frown. “I think the idea confuses me. I think I get it for, say, an… uh… episode? Can I call it that? An episode of, like, spanking. When it’s over, the scene ends, right?”
“Right.”
“But is that what we’re doing?”
“No. You and I toe the line of part-time and full-time, which makes the idea of a scene a little murky.”
“We toe the line because of hockey?”
“No. Remember? Hockey is an alternate universe. It doesn’t exist here, and we don’t exist there. We toe the line primarily because of the lack of consent in a thorough conversation where we talk about what that looks like.”
“I’m not questioning your judgment,” I begin, earning myself an amused smile, “but we need that conversation to happen in front of other people?”
He presses his lips to my cheek, and I can’t help but glance around to see who might have seen that. “No. We’re going because I need to feel confident in my role, in your role, and how that looks on a long-term basis. If that’s what you want?”
I nod without thinking. “Yes. I do.”
“I hoped so.”
“Did you doubt, Alpha?” I murmur, my voice automatically lowering to take into account those around us who might overhear.
I’m only a few inches shorter than Dasan, but the way he looks down at me has me feeling small. Not in a bad way. But in the way that I imagine someone—an alpha—would feel larger than life, making me feel small and fragile and needing his protection.
“No. I’m relatively confident that you and I are on the same page most days.”
My heart jumps. “Just most days,” I repeat.
“I feel your anxiety today,” he notes.
