“I have a few,” he said, then he headed back to the house. While he disappeared inside, I texted Willits and told him to go buy a yoga mat and come to Felton’s. When I looked up again, Ren was still watching me from inside, his hands in his pockets, always protecting Felton, which was fine.
I’d been protecting Felton first, though admittedly, nowhere near as well as he was. I needed Felton to tell me what was wrong and what he needed help with. Mistakenly on my part. That wasn’t what he needed.
Felton returned with a mat and offered it to me. I unrolled it beside his and waved him on, telling him to start with easy positions. Willits arrived a few minutes later, yoga mat in hand, and joined us on the lawn.
Felton didn’t say anything, but I didn’t miss the tears in his eyes before he bowed his head to hide them.
It doesn’t take a lot to be a good friend. It’s even easier to hurt a friend when they share a vulnerable piece of themselves and you choose to be an ass about it—even if you don’t intentionally mean your teasing to come lined with thorns. I’m not sure where the breakdown is, but people suck at reading the room lately, and it fucking shows.
It would have been easy to tease Felton about yoga, but I know Felton, and especially because I took him off guard, it would have hurt him had I done so. Felton is one of those guys who puts on the bravest face to hide the mountains of hurt that have lived in him his entire life. He wears a smile like a shield. He laughs loudly to take the attention away from the cracks in his armor.
But that’s when he’s prepared for the world. Me coming into his house unannounced wasn’t one of those times.
I’d never done yoga before that day, however, it’s something the three of us often do together now—at least once a week but oftentimes more. It’s soothing, calming, and it certainly helps blood flow and maintains flexibility. All things important to a hockey player.
“My sister is coming to town with her girlfriend,” Willits says as we change poses.
We also use this time to catch up and just talk. In all the years I’ve been friends with these two, it’s only in the last several months since we began yoga that I’ve truly gotten to know them. And Felton has finally opened up about the depths of what he’s been going through.
It’s honestly a good thing that Ren showed up when he did. He’s handling Felton’s family. Had I known the extremes of what’s been going on with Felton, I’d have gone all raging bull to protect the soft heart that he possesses.
Ren’s method is far calmer and definitely more direct. Getting Van Doren lawyers involved is an amazing power move. One I wouldn’t have thought of, never mind had the connections to make happen.
“I can’t tell if you’re excited about that or not,” Felton says.
“I love my sister, but from what my family says about her girlfriend, I’m not necessarily looking forward to them staying in my house for a week.”
“You said your family wasn’t on board with your sister being gay,” I point out. “Could it be a biased opinion?”
Willits nods. His sister didn’t formally come out. She simply showed up with her girlfriend one day, and that was that. As it should be, in my opinion. However, their parents’ response needed some work. I’m not sure that they’re homophobic exactly. I think that they were caught off guard and unsure how to respond.
“I still think you should show up with a boyfriend and experience it firsthand,” I say, “for research purposes. And then you’ll know if it’s the breakdown in their relationship or a homophobic response.”
Felton nods in agreement.
Willits nods too. “I think I’ll wait until after their visit to decide, but I’ve been thinking about that.” He meets my eyes. “You free for a fake boyfriend gig?”
I laugh, and my thoughts immediately turn to Shively. Am I?
My mind wanders back to the mountain last weekend, and a flood of memories vie for attention. The first night when Shiv followed me, I fucked him against the rock twice. Then I felt a little nauseous afterward since we didn’t use a condom.
Ididpull out before orgasming. Both times. In plenty of time, too. However, he begged for me to stick it back in both times so he could come on my dick, whichobviouslyI did. God, the way he howls is intoxicating. I can still feel the way his body squeezed around my cock until I saw stars.
The following day, we snuck off no less than three times, and that man sucked my dick like he had a degree in it. It wasn’t until that evening when I brought condoms and fucked him several times that I realized he never put his hands on me—something we needed to work on but not then.
I haven’t talked to him since.
That’s not true, I suppose. I called him the next morning once I got home to make sure he was okay. The way he told me how sore he was, I could hear the grin in his voice. He was almost… proud. The memory still makes me smile.
Butthat’sthe last time I’ve spoken to him outside of hockey. I need him to make some kind of move, though I understand that’s entirely out of his comfort zone. That’s not his personality. It’s his hockey personality butnothis submissive personality. I don’t want to push him, which reminds me of how he struggles with telling me whathewants. It’s always that he wants what I want, which, in this situation, simply isn’t going to work.
And thus, I wait. Frustratingly. Impatiently. Eagerly.
“Where did we lose you?” Willits asks, breaking into my thoughts. “I did sayfakeboyfriend, right?”
I flash him a smile. “Sorry. Yeah, that’s fine.”
“I think you have a secret,” Felton says.
