His face is lobster red as he bites his lip. “Yes.”
“How was it? Did you love it or hate it? Did he hurt you? Actual details, Cash!”
Cash sighs. “It was really good. I loved it. Yes, it hurt, but that was probably my fault more than his, since I didn’t exactly tell him I’ve never had sex before. He figured it out, of course, and it got a lot better once he knew.”
“That’s detailed without me knowing anything,” I complain.
“We’ve had sex a couple more times since then,” he says, grinning. “It gets better and better. Every time.”
I squee and wrap my arms around his neck. “Oh, my sweet Cashy isn’t so innocent anymore.”
He pinches me again, making me laugh. This is just the kind of conversation I need to take my mind off my life.
Cash sighs. “He’s so much more attentive to me now. He calls and texts me all the time. He even snuck in my window last night, so he didn’t have to wait for Ben to fall asleep.”
“I have a wild question.” I lean back to look at him. “Do you think Ben is such a tool because he has a thing for Onyx, and Onyx doesn’t feel the same way?”
“I don’t even know,” Cash says, shaking his head. “On the boat, I asked Onyx why he’s friends with Ben since Ben is such an asshole, and he just shook his head, telling me he didn’t know. This isn’t the boy he used to know. Not the kid he met in school, and not the guy he started Whiskey Horizons with. He says he thinks he sticks around, hoping that Ben still exists somewhere, and will eventually come back.”
“I think I know that feeling,” I say.
Cash nods. “I’m sure you do,” he agrees, voice quiet. Cash squeezes my hands. “You and Laiken are still doing okay despite… uh, outside forces?”
“We are. He says he wants to be with me. He said it’s not a choice that he has to make. Dad has already made it by trying to force us to make a choice. That’s the way ultimatums work, right? If someone is a big enough dick to try to make you choose, they’ve already made the choice for you because you know you don’t want to be around someone like that.”
He sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“I guess… I’m glad I’m here,” I say. “I think I love him, Cash.”
Cash beams at me. “Of course you do, pumpkin. I could have told you that months ago.”
“I always imagined Dad would be so excited when I fell in love. I thought we’d, I don’t know, plan shit together. Not a wedding, necessarily. I’m not sure I want to get married. But I don’t know what I mean.”
“You thought you’d share the experience with him because you’ve shared everything with him,” Cash says. I nod. “I know this is hard to accept, but Lie, he’s the one missing out on this really great thing. So what if this shouldn’t have happened and big, fat, bold lines were crossed? Itdidhappen and you’re both really fucking happy and in love. As your dad, as Nason’s best friend, he owes you at least a civil conversation, and he’s not willing to do that. I’m sorry, but that’s not the kind of person you need in your life, Lie. He’s missing out on such a beautiful, happy future for you.”
“Yeah,” I say, not quite convinced.
“Listen.” Cash grips me tightly. “I want you to think about something. He’s treating his son like shit. His son, who he’s spent days and hours and years with, just hanging out and laughing and having a good time. Sharing secrets andexperiences. Making amazing memories. Elijah, he’s willing to throw that away because he’s angry with you.”
I close my eyes, trying not to choke up.
“The truth is, even if you and Laiken did exactly what he wants right now, he’s already created a rift that can’t be sealed again. With both of you. No matter what happens now, the dad you had two weeks ago is never going to be the dad you have again. He’s made sure of that.”
A tear slips down my cheek. I nod. I know he’s right. I’ve just been hoping for a different outcome. Hoping that at some point, he’d come around and listen to us. Understand. Beg for forgiveness for being a jerk and saying the things he’s been saying.
But Cash is right. Even if all those things happened, the hurt he’s caused me will never allow me to trust him again. It will never allow me to have the relationship with him we once had.
I’ve lost my best friend, and nothing will ever change that.
Chapter Thirty
LAIKEN
I stare at the ceiling,contemplating whether it’s time to confront Nason. One thing is clear—time is not helping him calm his shit.
Everything I do in terms of Nason is trial and error right now, since I don’t recognize the person I’m dealing with. It’s been more than a week now and he’s still off the wall with his assholery. He’s gotten so bad that Lie hasn’t been back there in over three days now. He left his house in tears on Sunday and has been with me ever since.
Giving Nason time and space isn’t helping. Is it because he can still see us together since we’re right next door? Maybe I need to rent us a room on Anapos. No, he works on Anapos. Then Makara. Will it help then? If we blend in with the guests so we become less of a topic of discussion, will that help?
