“It’ll pass,” I assure him, kissing the side of his head. “Promise.”
“How can you promise that?” Lie asks. “What if it doesn’t?”
“Then… maybe we need to talk about it.”
Lie stops and turns to face me. His eyes shine. “Are you going to tell me there’s a point where we need to consider this a failed attempt and?—”
I stop his hurt rambling with my fingers over his mouth. A tear slips down his cheek. We’re in the middle of the road, about three houses from Cash’s. At the very least, we should have this conversation inside Cash’s house.
But that’s not what he needs right now. Lie needs some stability in his life when everything feels shaken.
“I’m not going anywhere, Lie.”
“What if Dad wants you to choose?” he whispers.
“Then he’s already made that choice for me. I’mnotgoing anywhere. You’re it for me. You’ve been it for me since we last picked you up from the airport. It will never be too hard. It will never be too much.”
Lie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He nods. I pull him to my chest and hug him tightly. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “That was a shitty way for Nason to find out, and I think that’s adding to his hurt. I wish I could make him take that anger out on me instead of you.”
“I lied, too.”
“I know, but I hate how much you hurt when I can’t do anything about it.”
“You know what?” he asks, leaning back to look at me. “Even if we’d agreed to end it when he said so on the beach, he’d still be like this right now.”
“You think so?”
Lie nods. “I think the damage is done. I think we should have made a bigger effort to tell him ourselves instead of letting him find out like that.”
I don’t disagree, but I don’t think Nason’s reaction would be any different than it is now had we told him. This has been niggling at me for a long time. I’m sure that the biggest reason I decided to commit to secrecy was because I knew how Nason would handle this.
Just like he is. I’ve known him for the majority of my life. I knew.
I made the choice to follow my heart anyway. That makes me a shitty friend. He’s right about that.
“We should have,” I agree. “But we can’t change it now. We can only decide how we’re going to deal with him and how we’re going to move forward. In what direction.” Lie opens his mouth,but I prevent him from talking. “So it’s very clear, the only path I want to follow is the one with you by my side, Lie. Understand?”
His shoulders relax. “Even if that means Dad never forgives us?” he whispers, eyes shining with tears.
“Even if it means Nason chooses to be an asshole for a very long time, yes. This isn’t just about me, though.”
“I want you,” Lie says, trying to give me a smile. I appreciate the attempt. “I keep trying to imagine what it would be like tonotbe with you, and just thinking about it makes my chest hurt. I don’t want to live without you, Laiken.”
While kissing Lie in the middle of the street for the entire neighborhood to witness is probably not what we should be doing if we want gossip about us to die down, I grip the sides of his neck and kiss him. I need to make sure he understands I will keep and protect his heart for as long as mine is beating.
“You guys really want to give everyone a show, huh?” Cash calls from his yard. “I’ve received like eight texts in the last two minutes!”
Lie sighs, shoulders drooping. I raise his eyes to mine. “I’m not going anywhere. Ever. Understand?” I reiterate.
His smile comes a little more naturally. “Yeah. Me either.”
Thank fuck. I give him a quick kiss and then take his hand again to walk him the rest of the way to Cash. He’s watching us with amusement, though the concern in his eyes isn’t hidden well as he looks at Lie.
“My door is unlocked if you head back before I do. You know you don’t have to go home, right? If it becomes too much, you can lock yourself in my house or with Cash.”
Cash nods excessively.
“I know.” Lie smiles. “Go have fun with your friend. Tell him hi for me.”
