“Say something,” I demand.
“I… I thought you were, uh… breaking up with me.”
I rest my forehead on his and close my eyes. “I’m sorry. That’s the right thing to do here. We both know that.” He nods. “There’s no way in hell I’m doing that. I’m not letting you go. I can’t spend the rest of my life watching you with someone else.You belong to me. I’ve never found my person because I was waiting for you.”
“Waiting for me to become legal?” he teases.
I cringe. “Ugh. Don’t ever bring that part up. I’m struggling with two things. One is that you’re Nason’s son, which you know. But the other is your age, and the fact I’ve been in your life since the day you were born. It’s fucking creepy, Elijah.”
He laughs. “When you put it like that, yeah, it is. Let’s never speak of that weirdness again.”
“So you know, I never preyed on you. You were a child to me right up until the day you stepped off the plane from college this last time. You left Kala a child in my eyes, but the person who walked off that plane wasn’t a child anymore. You looked the same, sounded the same, and yet my entire world shifted as soon as I looked at you.”
“That’s kind of romantic.”
I press my lips to his, and then along his jaw, down his neck. I suck on his collarbone. Lie sighs. “You didn’t tell me how you feel about this. I’ve done a lot of talking. I need you to talk now.” I press my face into his neck and mentally brace myself for his words.
“I’m scared of what my dad is going to say,” he says quietly. “He’s going to be so… angry. Isn’t he?”
“With me, yes.”
“Why don’t you think with me too? I’m just as much a part of this.”
“Because you’re his baby. You’re everything to Nason. He’ll forgive you. He’s not going to forgive me.”
“So… then what? What do we do then?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know, Lie,” I whisper. “I feel as if I’m truly making a choice right now, choosing between you and Nason. There isn’t a good choice that will make things right. There are only choices where someone hurts. I have to believethat Nason loves us both, so when he’s worked through his anger, he’ll hear us out and he’ll support us.”
“Do you truly think that’s what’s going to happen?”
“I don’t know. I have to believe that because I can’t make a different decision.” I raise my head so I can look at him. “You, Elijah. It’s always been you, and it’s always going to be you.”
Lie nods. He grips my hair and brings my mouth to his. There’s a desperate taste to our kisses. Frantic touching and pulling at clothes. I feel as if I’m in this moment from a distance. Through a fog. I’m hyper aware of every touch as we roll, rub against each other, lube everywhere. Our mouths don’t disconnect, so we’re swallowing each other’s moans and grunts.
It’s sexy. Hypnotic. But more than anything, there’s something deep and intense about what’s happening right now. This isn’t about my dick entering his body, which it is. It isn’t about the way he clings to me as I move inside him or how I feel like I’m in his throat. I’m so deep. I’m going to come undone.
This isn’t about the act of sex at all.
It’s about acknowledging and submitting to something we’ve both been fighting. All the resistance, all the hesitation, fall away with every deep thrust, every low moan, every arch of his body against mine, every mark I leave with my teeth on his shoulders.
This is about committing to each other. Following our hearts. Moving forward with intent. Making a life together. Understanding that from this moment, no matter the fallout that comes of this, we’re doing this together. We’re together.
Elijah is mine. I’ll fight for him when that day comes. The countdown is on, even if the number isn’t visible. When we reach the end, I’ll fight to make sure that he’s mine when the dust clears.
Chapter Twenty-One
LIE
I waituntil I’m sure Mom is out of sight before I run across the backyards to Laiken’s house. He’s waiting just inside the sliding door, though this time it’s open. He smiles, and it makes my heart jump. So hot.
I don’t slow as I run inside and into his arms, our mouths colliding almost painfully.
“Mmm,” he hums into my mouth.
It’s risky standing right here, in front of the open kitchen door, kissing with Laiken’s hands moving hungrily over my body. Anyone could look in. Mr. Jameson, whose yard abuts Laiken’s, could look this way. Mr. Persimmon, who’s across from my house. The neighbors on Laiken’s other side.
More risky is one of my parents coming home, having forgotten something, and walking across the yard and catching us. We’re getting more and more reckless, toying with our good fortune.
