“But?”
He hesitates. “I don’t think this is a career for me. My feet ache. There’s too much noise. It feels like busy work and… I don’t know. It’s not fulfilling. For me.” He quickly adds the last two words, making me smile.
“I know you’re not insulting the job, Lie.”
“I know you love bartending, and that’s cool. I think you’re a really great bartender. You’re fun to watch. The patrons adore you. But… it’s just not for me.”
“Noted.”
“I’m not quitting. It’s the least offensive job I’ve ever had, and I think Mom and Dad are relieved that I’m sticking with one for more than a week. I’m just saying.”
“What is it youwantto do?”
Lie sighs. “I don’t know.” His answer sounds a little whiny and I grin. “I don’t have any ideas at all.”
“What is it you enjoy doing? If you could do anything at all for the entire day, every day, and not get tired of it, what would it be?”
He’s quiet for a long time. The only sound that surrounds us is the sound of paint from the roller going on the wall. We’ve only gotten through half a wall, and already the room feels far more welcoming. Cooler. Brighter. God, I should have done this years ago.
“I don’t really know,” Lie says after some time has passed. “I know I don’t want to leave Kala. I love it here. I’ve had a glimpse into the outside world, and it’s awful. I also think Kala has a lot of opportunities and options, so maybe I need to see what there is and see if it speaks to me, but… I don’t know. I can’t imagine myself in any of those roles.”
“What is your absolute favorite thing now? Anything at all?”
I’m surprised when he giggles. “Dicks.”
I roll my eyes, pausing my painting to look at him. Lie laughs at my expression.
“No. Well, yes, but no. I mean dick things. Like, I have all these little figures with dick heads and dick horns, dicks instead of tentacles. Dick-tipped straws and old paintings of men marrying their dicks in wagons. My favorite item right now is this huge coffee-table book that’s on the study of the phallus in different cultures throughout history. It’s fascinating. It’s even more fascinating to see all the gay depictions in historical paintings. I love to learn about it.”
“Okay, so… dicks are your biggest passion.”
Lie laughs. “Come on, Laiken. You can’t tell me there is a more beautiful body part of any gender than a gorgeous hard dick. The beautiful curve. Smooth, rimmed mushroom tip. Those sexy damn veins. They come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Every single one of them is beautiful.”
I study him as he carefully follows the trim of the window down. When he feels me watching him, his hand pauses, and his eyes meet mine. Heat fills the room. A smile climbs his pretty lips, and he turns back to the window, continuing his perfect line.
As I study him, I realize something that may be a little concerning. This isn’t only a physical attraction I feel toward Lie. Yes, he’s stunning. He takes my breath away in a way no one ever has before.
But it’s more than that. I completely adore this man.
Not this boy. He hasn’t been a boy in a very long time. He’s an adult. A smart, kind, thoughtful, playful man. And I still love spending time with him as I always have. Only now, the dynamic has changed. I never thought I’d love spending time with someone as much as that laughing young boy who I used to watch movies and play cards with.
I was wrong. I could spend hours just talking to Lie and never get tired of his company.
That’s scary for a lot of reasons.
Chapter Thirteen
LIE
Waitingfor my parents to turn their bedroom light off is reminding me how incredibly impatient I am. My bedroom light is off, the door cracked, so I can see the light under their bedroom door. It’s past ten and still on. Frustrating. They aren’t night owls, so why the hell are they still awake? I can probably count on one hand how often they’re up past ten on my fingers and my toes.
My bedroom window faces Laiken’s house, but it’s the living room. The light is off. I’m hoping he’s not asleep by the time my parents finally turn their damn light off.
I haven’t been brave enough to let myself in since I was a kid. I still remember the day I stopped letting myself in. I’m not sure what was different about that particular day but as I slid the slider door open an inch, I was overcome with the sense that I was intruding. My body flushed with embarrassment. Self-consciousness. Like I was being rude.
I was uninvited and letting myself in. I was crossing a line. That’s the first time I knocked, which felt weird too. But where was the compromise?
Right now, that’s rather unfortunate because letting myself in means I could climb into Laiken’s bed, and I know from experience that being in his bed is a good time. The memory makes me smile. It makes my dick happy, too.
