Julian didn’t correct him.
It’s a little thing. It shouldn’t bother me. Labeling what we are doesn’t make what we are any less or more substantial. And yet, it felt like an arrow in my chest.
Which is ridiculous. Throughout the afternoon, especially as it progressed, all of them were making teasing, exaggerated comments about me being Julian’s friend. They placed jesting emphasis on it, and Julian just grinned, meeting my eyes like we shared a secret.
I don’t want to live in a secret, though.
The truth is, we’re really not living a secret. Julian held my hand almost the entire afternoon. When he wasn’t holding my hand, his arm was around me or he was leaning into me with my arms around him. He even kissed me in front of all his friends at one point.
So what if he let them introduce me as his friend?! We can be friends too, right? It’s good to start as friends. It builds a foundation between us. Some trust and… and…
It shouldn’t bother me. This is heading into that childish feeling again. I can tell. I know I could make it go away if I said something to Julian when he wakes up. It just feels so nitpicky.
But why do I feel sick to my stomach over it?
I turn my head to look at Julian. He’s peaceful. His face is smooth, suggesting that he’s not stressed over anything in his sleep.
I’m definitely overthinking this. He’s right here in bed beside me. I can feel his fingers pressed up against my ribs. I know the truth of what’s between us. He knows. It’s pretty clear that everyone else knows, too.
I remind myself it doesn’t matter what label we wear.
Julian’s eyes open as if he’d just barely closed them. His eyes meet mine, and he smiles. “Morning.”
“Morning,” I murmur in return.
He slides a little closer, pressing his lips to my shoulder. The hand touching my ribs moves around my stomach. Just like that, the tension I’d been holding onto begins melting away. I roll onto my side and pull him close. Our arms and legs tangle as we press flush together.
There’s honestly no better feeling than this. I need to stop letting silly things bother me. They just don’t matter. They need to stop taking up so much room in my mind.
We’re only lying there for a few minutes when the alarm goes off. Julian picks up his head to look over my shoulder and sighs. “How is it already nine-thirty? I feel like I haven’t slept the whole night.”
“We binged several episodes of that cooking show,” I remind him. When I look at the television, I can tell that it’s just gone tosleep. There’s a glow around the edges of the dark screen telling us it wasn’t properly shut off.
Julian’s mouth presses against mine, and for a minute, we ignore the alarm. I think I could drown it out entirely if we continued to kiss for too long. Everything outside of his mouth on mine ceases to exist.
Right until someone slams their fist against the wall behind us. Maybe we can tune out the alarm, but the people in the room beside us cannot. Julian laughs. He rolls us so I’m on my back with him on top of me, and turns it off. Now hovering over me, he smiles.
“Ready for the day?” he asks.
I nod. “Yep,” I answer, but I also pull his mouth down to mine for another long kiss.
Eventually, we climb out of bed.
Julian volunteered us to stop at the farmer’s market to pick up some freshly baked brunch things, so that’s the first stop this morning. Hilt’s wife won’t be joining us, but Caulder and Lo will be there for brunch. I’ve heard them over the game they play together, but unlike the Arizona guys, I haven’t met them prior to today.
We end up with two quiches, a whole load of pastries, some mini meat pies, and things I can’t remember since none of them were entirely familiar. I hadn’t realized just how much Julian made sure I had the familiar foods of India until we started traveling around the Great Lakes last week. Everywhere we stopped, there was an American-style breakfast.OnlyAmerican. The foreign cuisine restaurants don’t open until later in the morning, closer to lunch.
Laden with bags and box tops of food in hand, we step up to Keno and Etna’s front door. Julian somehow manages a balancing act as he presses the doorbell, but that little bit of movement makes him nearly lose it all. The door opens as I’mtrying to grab him, his load, and keep mine while the two of us laugh.
Thankfully, Etna takes some of our items and leads the way inside. Julian’s still grinning at me as we follow him to the backyard, where Keno is waiting with Hilt and the men I assume are Caulder and Lo.
“Hey,” one of the guys says, getting to his feet to take the rest of the bags from my hands. Julian sets his load on the table. He offers Julian his hand and I watch their slap-shake-half-a-hug thing.
Julian grins. There’s the same exchange between Julian and Caulder, and then they’re looking at me. “This is my friend, Arush. Lo and Caulder.”
There’s a pit in my stomach again. It just doubled in size and became a knot. A sour taste coats my tongue.
It doesn’t matter!
