“No,” I answer.
“You wish there were some gay players on your team?” he counters.
I frown. “Believe it or not, someone’s sexuality doesn’t mean much to me. It doesn’t affect their game at all.”
He gives me a smirk, and I get the distinct impression that he’s satisfied with my answer.
“But there were gay guys on your Arizona team,” Dom says. “Did it bother you then? Weren’t you worried they were checking out your junk?”
What the hell is this?
“Keno and Etna are two of my absolute best friends,” I tell him, hearing the abrasiveness in my tone. “One thing that pisses me off more than anything is the absolute fragility of a straight man’s ego. They get defensive at the idea a man might check them out and then get butthurt when a gay man says they’re not in the least bit attractive.”
I receive bursts of laughter from several of the guys surrounding me.
“You and I both know that you check guys out in the locker room. Because we live in a society where we’re always comparing our body image to that of others. Is his six-pack more pronounced than mine? Are his thigh muscles thicker? Biceps bigger? Is my cock the biggest in the room? It better not be the smallest! That’s the world we live in. The first one to deny itisthe one hiding something, even if what they’re hiding is a denial to themselves, first and foremost.”
There’s obviously some unspoken agenda here because they like my slightly heated rant. I can’t stop myself from continuing, though, even if I’m playing into their hand—whatever it may be.
“I will also point out that youshouldbe aware of your teammates’ bodies because you might be their saving grace if they’re in an abusive relationship that they’ve been trying to hide. If they’re being bullied or abused. We all know what hockey bruises look like and where we’re likely to get them. Which means we’ll also recognize a bruise that doesn’t belong there. You might be a lifeline. Obviously, I’m not suggesting that you stare outright and use that as an excuse. I’m saying that being aware of those around you can mean saving someone’s life.”
That clearly sobered them. Their smiles fall away as they look at each other with far more consideration and concern than had been there.
I turn back to the trail and begin hiking again. Silence follows me for several minutes, and the only thing I hear is their footsteps behind me and the natural sounds of the environment surrounding us.
“Told you no one would care if you’re gay,” someone says.
“Shut up.”
Ah. I see.
“In reality, you’re going to run into bigots everywhere,” I tell them without stopping this time. “Again, that’s just the world we live in. But in my experience, the NHL is removed from the world in many ways. Look at the records in recent years. Not only have more and more out players been making headlines, good and bad?—”
Snorts behind me make me smile.
“But they’ve also broken some huge records. Scored some major victories. Made some remarkable plays and won manyprestigious awards. They’re some of the top picks and highest paid,notbecause of their sexuality, but because theyarethe best in the league.”
“Max Latham took the big W at the All-Stars Games two years in a row,” Alexei says. “I hear he’s up for the Ted Lindsay Award alongside Noah Kain this year.”
“I think you should have that award,” Kareem says. “You carried Chicago.”
I laugh. “I didn’t, but thanks.”
“You know, I get it that the guys want to retire when they start families, but I always wished I could play with Elixon Kipler. He used to yell at his team constantly like they were toddlers when he was in San Jose. It was like watching a completely different player once he got to Edmonton,” Dom says. “He finally got a team that could keep up with him.”
“There are still some greats playing,” Alexei says. “Azure, for starters. Max is still going strong. Hugo Bladen.”
“I’m a little irritated that Anaheim has turned into such a nasty team,” Kareem says.
“Only since Coach Adak Nemaczekk left. Maybe there’s hope for them to turn around in the future,” Dom says.
I listen to them continue to talk about current players in the NHL, as well as some who retired in recent years. There’s mention about headlines—good and bad—by all players, and speculation about why some are blown up bigger than they needed to be.
Speculation, of course, that circled around their sexuality being a factor.
The kids spoke a lot about sexuality, and at first, it was frustrating. The fact it keeps coming up when Iknowthat a person’s sexuality has nothing to do with literally anything else about them, including their athletic ability.
But as I listen, I realize something very important. These kids don’t talk about sexuality as if it’s taboo to be anything other than straight. They talk about it comfortably. They tease about it as any teenage boys do when talking about hookups and playful pissing contests.
