Mama sighs.
“Speaking of hockey, I’m just pulling in. Call you later.”
“Push hard, baby. I love you.”
“Love you, too, Mama. Tell Pops I love him.”
“Of course.”
The parking lot to the team gym has more than a dozen cars, which is usually the case. I pull in and shut the engine off right as the call ends and then pings a notification. I’m about to swipe the email notification off the screen when I see the subject.
Re: Your MOS Account Has Been Approved! Your future awaits.
My chest floods with excitement. The same image I’ve been imagining for the last couple days of my perfect partner in life waiting at home for me when I return from hockey fills my mind as I get rid of the notification. What a freaking time to come! Now I have an entire morning of conditioning to get through.
Sighing, I head inside. I was going to do something mindless today, but now I’m afraid that I’m going to go out of my mind thinking about the promise of a future just out of reach for the next two hours. I’m going to have to switch up my plan.
Instead of weights, I head for the racquetball court and grab a couple of different sizes of the hexagonal balls. While this is still mindless reflex training, it requires me to pay attention. The beauty of the hexagonal ball is that you never know where it’s going to go. It’s all about hand-eye coordination to catch it.
You can play with a partner or use a room like this and toss it to the ground so it hits the wall in front of you, forcing it back in your direction. That means there are two different angles at play. Unlike with a person, where you have one to predict and more time to react. Now you have less time and two predictions.
I enjoy it a lot. It’s simple but effective and a lot of fun. With headphones in, I choose one of the empty racquetball rooms and start tossing the ball, determinedlynotthinking about the fact that I could be just hours away from meeting the love of my life.
Interestingly, I’ve never been determined to fall in love. The thing I loved most about Keno and Etna was their friendshipin everything. They were life partners without being in a relationship. They bought furniture together. They bought a boat together. They went on trips together. They practically lived together.
But they were platonic.
Right until they weren’t. Their conversation on the matter was as shocking as it was expected. I mean, they were practically a couple already—just minus the romance and sex, right? Honestly, I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out for them. Can you decide to fall in love with someone?
Then again, I think we all knew they loved each other deeply. Shifting between platonic love and romantic love seemed easy for them. It felt like I was watching a Hallmark movie play out in real time before my eyes. Iwatchedthem fall in love.
I think that alone convinced me I wanted the same thing. I had already wanted what they shared in their friendship, but when I saw how they naturally fell in love, too? Yeah, that’s my perfect forever right there.
Then there’s seeing Caulder and Lo. Granted, I don’t actuallyseethem much. But I hear them when we play video games. They’re definitely relationship goals, if there ever were any. I love their love. It feels like I can feel it through time and space, as if they’re sitting in the same room with me when we’re playing games online.
Lastly, there’s Hilt and his family—wife and four kids. I’ve met them several times, and it convinced me I was surrounded by happy, perfect couples. Perfect families. This is the American dream right here, right?
I’m so wrapped up in my thoughts that I don’t hear the door open or the footsteps as they approach. It isn’t until they dive in front of me to catch the ball that I realize I’m no longer alone and jump ten feet into the air.
Carter laughs as he tosses the ball back at me. I catch it as I pull one of my earbuds out. Maybe my music is too loud today.
“What’re you listening to that has you so oblivious to the outside world?”
When I start to answer, I realize I have no idea. I listen to the song for a minute before shaking my head. “Music,” I say, shrugging. “Lost in thought.”
“Yeah? That dry spell getting to you?”
I glance down at the black, gray, white, and purple band on my wrist. I always wear it, but most people don’t know what it means. I’d say the vast majority of people around me don’t recognize the colors and pattern.
Unless you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community in some way, the many representations in the form of color combinations rarely mean anything outside the generalized rainbow flag. I’m not surprised that’s his first assumption. He’s a twenty-something-year-old guy. Call me stereotypical if you want but I’ve been around horny guys for the past decade. They start young and they don’t grow out of it for a long while.
I give Carter a bemused smile without answering. I’ve stopped volunteering my sexuality. The few times I have outside of romantic partners—actually, even with romantic partners, now that I think about it—it’s always the same thing.That’s not a thing. You just need to meet the right girl. Let me fix you. Pray to Jesus and he’ll set you straight.
Those are just the top few opinions I get, so yeah, I’ve stopped volunteering that information. If you think anything about how a person is naturally built is a choice, then we have nothing to talk about.
“You sure you don’t want me to set you up with Jackie’s sister? She’s not quite as lovely, but I hear she’s a freak.” Carter gives me a big grin.
The thing about Carter is that he can talk a big game about checking out other women and shit but he’s a damn lap dog for his girlfriend. There are really sweet romantic kinds of love like Caulder and Lo, Keno and Etna, and Hilt and his wife, Letty. Then there’s the disgustingly obsessively sweet kind of love. And that’s Carter and Jackie.
