“I’m telling you this because I want you to think about how you can adapt your dreams so that you can keep them and still have your husband and the family you want.”
“Dad, what if I don’t want a family? Are you going to be upset with me?”
“Why don’t you want a family?” Dad counters.
“There isn’t a reason that I can put words to. All I know is that no matter who has kids—my siblings or my best friend—I always get this feeling deep in my chest that I don’t want that same kind of life.”
“What about your Julian? Does he want kids?”
“We haven’t talked about it yet.”
“Arush—”
I laugh. “I know, I know. It’s an important conversation and we’ll have it, but in my gut, I think he doesn’t want kids either.” Did I make that up? I feel like that’s accurate though.
“Do you know why the practice of arranged marriages is still very common?”
“We like our cultural traditions,” I suggest, making my father laugh. I grin in return. “To ensure the continuation of cultural and social values, preserve family lineage, and secure the family’s status,” I repeat. It’s something we’re taught in school and growing up.
“Yes, all true. I suppose I should adjust the question. Do you know why we’ve adopted self-arranged marriages?”
“In case you choose a dud?”
My father snorts. He actually snorts. “No, child. We know that our methods for building family works. We have history to prove that. But we realized a long time ago—and by we, I refer to the generations before us—we began realizing that maybe ourchildren would like to have a louder voice in this decision as societies around the world began shifting to marrying for love. I can’t speak to all families but I know for our family, the partners that we pickarebased on the old ideals,butwe also take into account personal compatibility as well. Wewantyou to be happy. There’s nothing worse than remaining married to someone you grow to despise every day.”
“So are you failing with choosing Navi’s perfect partner?” I tease.
My father barks laughter again. “No. I’m confident the first match was his ideal partner, something I think he knows. However, like you, I think he doesn’t want to fall into line with how we’ve always lived, but unlike you, he’s not ready to talk about it.”
“Do you think he doesn’t want to get married at all, or maybe it’s just the kid thing, like me?”
“I’m not sure,” Dad says thoughtfully. “I’ve thought about this a lot. What I believe is that he has some semblance of a plan underway and eventually, he’ll tell us what’s going on, though he’ll be able to spin his inability to find his ideal partner as a means of proof to support his goals.”
“I feel bad for the girls.”
“Don’t be. After he rejected Anshu for a very weak reason, we decided we were going to play his game for a while since he said he wanted us to try again and choose a different partner. Now, the girls are on board and know exactly what’s happening.”
“You’re sneaky.”
“I can play games too,” he says proudly.
I laugh. Honestly, if I were to have children, I’d want to be just like my father. I’m really not sure there’s a better father out there.
“All this conversation to tell you that I want you to be happy, but I don’t want you to be the only one compromising. That’s nota knock at Julian. As you pointed out, I do not know this young man. But Idoknow you. Make sure when you’re having these conversations—and you need to have them, Arush—that you’re making it clear what you want as well. What you want is equally as important as what your partner wants. Understand?”
“Yes,” I say, smiling. “Thanks.”
“What will you do this week without him home?”
I shrug. “The same things I’ve been doing, I guess. There’s a gym downstairs and a pool, so I spend some time exercising. There’s an older couple who likes to walk their cat outside and they’ve been inviting me along when they know Julian is away. I spend some time talking to my friends and I watch Julian’s games on the television. I read and check out different engineering jobs in an attempt to decide what I want to do. I’m entertained for the most part.”
I can tell by his tone that he’s not happy with this still. “I don’t like that you’re alone for a week.”
“It’s temporary,” I tell him. “If he’d be staying in one place, I could go. But he bounces around. This time he’s going to Ottawa and from there to Philadelphia and then New York before he comes home. Three stops in seven days, which he says is a more relaxed schedule than some he’s played.”
“This sounds taxing.”
I grin. “There is a lot taxing about hockey. You should watch some games. India has an up-and-coming pro-hockey league that I only learned about after Julian told me what his profession was. Check it out and then we can talk about it.”
