My heart sinks. I think my entire body deflates. “Okay.”
“Want to come?”
And now my heart jumps into my throat. If I’m not careful, all these emotions are going to make my heart stop entirely. “To eat with you and your friends?” I clarify.
I hear his smile when he answers. “Yes. It’s okay if you’re not hungry. I know it’s late. I’m not sure I’m hungry, but it’s more to catch up than it is to actually eat.”
“Oh. Yes. Okay.”
“Good,” he says. His arms tighten around me for a second before he lets me go. “I’m not opposed to you wearing this, but if you want to change, we’re leaving in ten minutes.”
I glance down at my bed pants and tee. “I’m changing.” These are the first of his friends I’m meeting. There’s no way in hell I’m showing up like this. Julian hasn’t introduced me to anyone yet. This feels like a super big deal.
Before I can walk away, Julian surprises me and catches my chin with his fingers. My breath catches as I meet his eyes. His smile is soft and a moment later, his mouth is on mine.
I close my eyes as my entire body fills with butterflies.
“I love that you’re waiting right here for me every day,” he says as he pulls away. “You can’t possibly know how much I love it.”
It’s difficult to respond with the butterflies that have danced up my throat. I don’t manage to get words out at all before he releases me and grabs his bag from the floor.
There’s a real possibility that I’m floating right now. I’m meeting his friends and he loves that I’m at the door every day. And here I was worried that I was going to start appearing needy or clingy.
I’m barely aware of what I’m doing right up until I’m back in the entryway putting my shoes on. I opted for some slacks and a long-sleeved shirt. I look presentable, right? Julian holds open one of his jackets for me to put on and yep, my heart might just stop altogether from the constant abrupt changes it’s going through.
He kisses my cheek. “Ready?”
I nod. Still breathless. Still at a loss for words. His hand slides slowly down my arm until his fingers link with mine for a minute. I’m not sure if he’s trying to steal all my oxygen, but it might be working.
After a quick squeeze of my hand, he lets me go and opens the door. I follow him into the hall. I’d been ready for bed, and while that fatigue is still hanging around, it also feels like I just received a dose of caffeine.
There’s no one in the halls or elevator on our way outside. It’s cold out and I sink a little further into Julian’s jacket. It smells like him. The wind is icy on my cheeks. Where is spring? I’m so ready for spring.
The SUV is already running when we get there. The lights flash as we get closer and Julian opens the passenger door for me. It’s all these little things that keep the butterflies fluttering inside me. The thoughtfulness. Every sweet touch and gesture.
“Did you play with these guys on your other team?” I ask as we pull out of the driveway.
He chuckles. “No. How we became friends is a bit of a maze. The NHL has an inclusivity initiative called the ‘Gays Can Play,’ which basically rounds up every LGBTQIA+ player and has them go to events and charities and whatever as a means to make sure that queer youth understand that opportunities are available for everyone, regardless of their orientation and identity.”
“And you’re a part of this?” I ask.
Julian laughs. “No. My friend Keno on the Arizona team managed to drunkenly and mistakenly out himself when he kissed his then-best friend and teammate Etna one summer. While he didn’t identify as anything other than straight at the time, he also didn’t deny the claim for various reasons. Which meant he was added to the GCP group, of which Noah Kain is a part of. Last year, while the team was in L.A., we hung out with the GCP players on L.A.’s team.”
“Ah. So you met him through a friend.”
“Yeah. A friend of a friend. Part of the cool thing about the GCP is that they catch up with other players on different teams who are a part of the group too. It’s friendship, support, understanding, connection.” He shrugs. “That kind of thing.”
“That’s really cool.”
Julian nods. “I’m not part of the group, but I’ve caught up with Noah whenever we’ve played them this year and we’ve become friends, so it’s nice to hang out. He’s bringing Hector with him, another GCP guy.”
“I look forward to meeting them.”
He smiles as he drives. The distance to the hotel isn’t far, and he continues to tell me about the guys we’re picking up. It’s not hard to figure out that the two men waiting outside the hotel when we pull up are who we’re picking up.
I don’t recognize either, though that’s not entirely surprising. They climb into the back and I watch over my shoulder, trying not to feel awkward and self-conscious.
“Hey,” the one with longer hair says. He’s got a very distinctly pretty look about him. Especially when he smiles.
