I snort. “Yes, but no. I’m excited that we get to find a house together. You and me.”
Arush sighs. “That’s what I’m most excited about too,” he whispers.
CHAPTER 36
ARUSH BAKSHI
Two months later
I’m once again lyingdown in a super high-class cabin, staring out the window as I fly back into the US. This time, when I land, Julian will be waiting for me and expectingme. I hold my hand up to look at the two bands on my finger—the one my father gave to Julian and the one Julian bought before he flew to India. I wear them both because they symbolize something different, but also the same.
Both homes. Both cultures. My father and family’s support and blessing. Julian’s love and commitment. A future I only ever dreamed might be mine, but with no real conviction. Now it’s real. It’s mine.
Julian went back to Chicago a month ago to end his lease, meet with his agent to finalize his trade contract, pack our condo, and find us a house in Florida. It’s been a lot of fun touring houses virtually with him. He walks me through the entire property while on video and we discuss it together.
The one we decided on has been owned by hockey players in the past. Julian says he even knows the previous owner of theone he’s purchasing the house from. The guy now plays for L.A. and I think that’s kinda cool.
It’s been a very long month. Arguably, it might have been less difficult to be away from my new husband during the season when he’ll be traveling for hockey and is on the road for a week or two at a time. But it was important to me to be here for Ishika while she healed. Especially since the doctor said there were some touch-and-go moments.
And there were. Right before Julian and I were going to head back, Ishika ‘crashed’ and that was probably one of the most terrifying moments of my life, right next to my father calling to tell me that my sister had been in a bad accident and wouldn’t tell me if she’d be okay.
We made the difficult decision that Julian would go back and take care of business and we’d re-evaluate the situation once we had the contract for a new house in hand. That happened three days ago. The same day that Ishika came home.
Julian was ready to come back to India, and we’d spend August there before he needed to be in Florida for hockey camp, but my sister insisted I go home. She said I needed to go be with my husband and begin our life together. I agreed and promised I’d be a much better brother and call often as long as she promised that she’d be completely honest with me about her health and healing.
As much as I love my family—and I do, more than anything—leaving my friends again was probably the biggest struggle. I love all the people I met in the condo, and I miss them more than I ever thought I would, but being with my friends again truly emphasized just how lonely I had been in Chicago.
There’s no easy fix for that. Not really. But all my friends promised they’d come out to visit this coming fall and winter. When I told them Florida was supposed to have tropical weather year-round, they were even more convinced it was a good idea. Ipromised to give them the dates of the longest stretches of time when Julian would be traveling for hockey.
Alok and Anil are excited to come out. They haven’t stopped talking about it since Julian suggested it. I think they already have their bags packed.
I catch my reflection in the airplane window. There’s a smile on my face. I didn’t realize I was smiling. Even with the nerves fluttering in my stomach again, knowing I’m just hours away from seeing Julian again, the smile won’t go away. It lingers.
This is what happiness looks like.
I know I’m very fortunate. I had a great, privileged, even spoiled childhood. I was happy. But the happiness I feel now, the warmth in my chest, the inability to stop smiling, and my excitement to see my husband after a very long month apart? It’s a different kind of happiness.
The meal I’m served for breakfast as I watch the sun light the sky from the tail of the plane is gourmet. I’m not sure I’ve had meals like this outside of travel with my family. There are flowers on my plate!
I text Julian as soon as I land. The text has barely gone through when he calls. My stomach jumps. At first, a million horrible things go through my mind as I answer.
“Hello?”
“Arush,” he says, and my heart flutters.
“Hi. Is everything okay?”
Julian chuckles. “That’s always going to be your first question when I call you, isn’t it?”
I relax. “Sorry. Hi. I’m here. Standing in the door of my cabin and waiting to be let off the plane.”
“Good. I’ve been here for an hour. I was too excited to see you to stay home.”
Now I can feel the way my grin splits my face. “I can’t wait.”
“Me too. I’ve missed you so damn much.”
I think I’m turning into a sap. Moisture stings my eyes, and I take a cleansing breath to push back all the emotions welling in my chest. “I have, too. It’s been a really long month.”
