“We’re just looking right now. There’s a lot of planning that goes into all of this. But, if you want to, we’d love for you to be a part of everything. All the decisions we make for our future,” I say.
Ruby takes a breath. I’m surprised by the tears in his eyeswhen he meets mine. “You really want me to be a part of… everything?”
“Yes. We haven’t been more sure of anything than the day we decided to get married, Ruby.” I say. “And I’ll make a concentrated effort to actually use your name. It’s only after Ruby leaves my mouth that I remember your name is actually Roux.”
He laughs and wipes his cheek. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. It’s nice that it’s just you two who call me Ruby.”
“You are a precious gem,” Alka says, waggling his eyebrows.
Ruby laughs again. “That was corny. Maybe you’re the old man with the dad jokes.”
“Hey!” Alka says and tugs gently on Ruby’s hair.
I love to hear Ruby’s laughter. His smile. His tears when they aren’t driven by hurt or fear.
He nods. “Yes, I… I want all that. I want to be a part of this. Your life together and your family.”
“Our family,” Alka corrects. “But it’s really okay if you’re not ready.”
Ruby shakes his head. “If you were going to have a newborn dropped into our laps tomorrow, I would definitely not be ready for that. But two years. Three? I think I can do that.”
“It’s more than if youcan,”I begin.
Ruby shakes his head again. “Yes, I know. Wrong words. Sorry. I mean… I’ll be ready by then. I know I will. I’m not readynowbecause, you know, life. School. I think I need to spend some more time in therapy before I can feel confident that I’m fit to raise a child. But I want all of this with you.”
I hug them both, forcing their bodies together until their heads knock together. They laugh again while I squeeze them tightly.
Forever starts now.
CHAPTER 29
ALKA
Declan leans in and kisses his boyfriend Zarek. I watch them for a minute, feeling the small smile on my face as I do. They’re saying something as they stare into each other’s eyes. Their voices are low, but if I tried hard enough, I could probably hear them.
Just a few months ago, this would have made me jealous. When Declan showed up on campus three years ago, I’d been so sure that he was it for me. He was the man I’d been waiting for. I’d gone all in, trying to show him I was everything he needed.
I just wasn’t everything he wanted, and up until recently, it still bothered me that he’d chosen Zarek over me. I suppose it wasn’t a love triangle like I’m making it out to be. There was no actual competition. He was never interested in me. He’d made that clear from the beginning, but I just couldn’t accept that.
This is the first time seeing them looking all sweet and lovey that Idon’tfeel even the slightest pang of jealousy. Instead, it makes me smile a little more.
I glance at Quin, who’s also sitting outside with us. At least once a week, the four of us have lunch together. I enjoy their company, the conversations, and watching the way they interact with each other.
Zarek shoves Declan away while Declan laughs. Zarek’s cheeks pinken as he glares and turns back to his sandwich. Declan gives me a mischievous grin.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” I look between the three of them so they know I’m including them all in this. “It’s a little personal.”
“Okay,” Zarek says while Quin just shrugs and nods.
“So… a little backstory. Please,pleasedon’t repeat this anywhere.” Now, Zarek looks interested. Declan already knows what I’m about to say. I can see it in the way he’s watching me, still with a smirk. “Every summer, Oscar and I go to the Isle of Kala for eight weeks to unplug without commitments and expectations.”
“How do you get work done?” Zarek asks.
“He just said without commitments and expectations,” Declan points out. “No work.”
“Harper takes care of everything I should be doing over the summers. I hate recruiting anyway, so I gave that to her years ago. Idocheck in from time to time.”
“Huh,” Zarek says.
