“Yes, but… I shouldn’t feelrelievedthat he was murdered!”
I disagree, but I’m not sure how to comfort him right now. Thankfully, I hear a car door open then my husband’s voice. “It’s okay,” Oscar says. The car door shuts. “I promise.”
Ruby releases a stressed breath. “Is it?” he whispers.
“It is,” I say. “How you feel is never wrong, Ruby. You’re allowed to feel however you feel.”
He doesn’t answer, so I just listen to him breathe while Oscar drives him here. I’m really fucking thankful that the drive is so short. I’m opening the front door as Oscar pulls into the driveway.
Ruby seems absolutely miserable. He looks stressed and frantic and on the verge of breaking down. I hang up, stuff my phone into my pocket, and take him into my arms as soon as he’s near the door.
His arms are tight, his entire body trembling. I feel his heart racing, and his breaths are uneven. He’s fighting back tears.
Oscar lifts him so he wraps his legs around my waist and gently pushes us into the house. He shuts the door and moves around us to take Ruby’s sneakers off, dropping them on the floor, then guides us further into the house.
We end up in our room, and I climb on the bed still holding our trembling boyfriend. Oscar curls around his other side, and together, we surround him as best we can.
“He hit me. A lot,” Ruby says quietly. “Once, he hit me so hard that I fell. I landed against the bed frame and broke a rib.”
My breath freezes in my lungs, but I swallow down the questions and anger. That’s not what he needs right now.
“He used to call me names. All the time. He’d pick one tiny thing that I was insecure about and constantly make it a huge deal. Sometimes in a passive aggressive way, like he was trying to say that he loved this thing about me, butonly hewould. Everyone else would be disgusted. No one wants someone like that.”
“Ruby,” Oscar murmurs.
“He kept me tied to the bed once, so I couldn’t go to class. There were a lot of other things that he forced me to do even though I told him I didn’t like them.”
My arms tighten around him, and I close my eyes, trying to keep myself as neutral as possible. He needs to talk. He doesn’t need me to lose my shit.
“He told me no one would believe me. Everyone could see how much he loved me, so no one would believe me. I believed him, so I didn’t tell anyone. Not that there was anyone to tell because he never let me see my friends. He’d get mad and punish me if he saw me talking to someone else. He wouldn’t even let me talk to Lix without being in the room, and if I said something he didn’t like, he’d punish me after.”
Oscar takes a deep breath, and I know he’s trying to keep in his own feelings right now. Especially with Ruby’s next words.
“He broke up with me because he said I didn’t love him. I begged him to take me back and swore that I’d be a better boyfriend. He could do anything he wanted to me, even if I didn’t like it. Sometimes, he’d take me back, but other times, he just called me ugly. Or stupid. Fat. Pathetic.”
He swallows. I can feel his jaw tremble against me and his tears on my neck. It takes a whole lot of discipline that I didn’t know I had to just hold him.
“You know what I think?” Oscar asks quietly. He runs hisfingers through Ruby’s hair. “I think that he finally hurt the wrong person. Someone who had someone watching over him. I think the reason it looks like a personal killing is because of just that. Itwaspersonal. Whoever killed him made sure he would never hurt another person again.”
“I’m glad he’s dead,” I say. “He deserved much worse.”
“The articles say he was barely recognizable. If it weren’t for his identification being left at the crime scene and dental records, they might not have recognized him,” Ruby whispers.
“I’m still not upset about it. He deserves that end, and I hope he suffered.”
“They say he did,” he whispers.
“Good,” Oscar and I say together.
Ruby’s quiet for a while as we hold him close. He sniffles a few times, but his tears have stopped. “Lix is right. I think I need to make a more concentrated effort to talk to my therapist regularly.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Oscar says gently.
“You understand now that you are none of those things he called you, right?” I ask.
I can feel his hesitation, and his nod doesn’t feel genuine. I kiss the top of his head.
“You’re beautiful, Ruby. I thought so the moment I looked at you. You’re remarkable. Everything I learn about you is captivating.”
