Alka smiles, pressing kisses along my neck. He hasn’t let me go, and I cling to him like he’s the only thing keeping me from falling off the face of a cliff.
“It’s okay,” he says. “I’m so fucking glad you’re here.”
“Me too.”
“Come over. I’ll text you my address. We can talk about this.”
I nod but then shake my head. “Lix is still here. We’re going to dinner.”
“That’s okay. How about you call me after? Okay?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
Alka shakes his head. “I’m not. We clearly missed the mark on some communication points, but I’m still not sorry you’re here.”
I close my eyes and press my face into his. Taking a deep breath, I inhale the scent of him. I might have to quit soccer. If given the option, I’d choose Alka and Oscar every time. Soccer isn’t my future anyway. It’s something to pass the time and keep me busy.
Reluctantly, we break apart. Alka takes a step back so he’s in the aisle again and looks both ways. Then his eyes meet mine. “Have fun with your brother.”
I nod. “Just so you know, the team thinks you’re really weird right now. You’re going to have to do some damage control.”
He laughs. “Oh, I know. I’m actively avoiding Harper, so I don’t have to deal with that conversation right now either. First, you, me, and Oz need to talk. Then I’ll talk to Harper.”
“Okay.” I sling my bag onto my shoulder and walk toward him. “I’ll see you soon.”
His smile overtakes his face and leaves me breathless. “Soon,” he promises, his fingers brushing my cheek. “So fucking soon, Ruby.”
CHAPTER 22
OSCAR
There are days when I’d love to be able to just hang out with my husband. Nothing else. Especially since I’m so distracted by my phone. Not that I’m getting a lot of messages or calls, but because Alka’s at school and Ruby is moving into his dorm at Longwood and I’m… sitting at home being easily distracted.
It’s not like I don’t have enough to distract me. I have plenty to do. But I really want to be with my husband and our boyfriend right now.
I intended to have a few collabs while on Kala, but I only ended up getting with Ono. When Ruby showed up in our lives, work seemed to become non-existent. Completely and utterly unimportant. Still, I have a folder Ono shared with me containing all the videos we filmed.
Sitting on the couch with laptop in hand, I pull up the first one and hit play. I try not to let the videos I film feel forced, which means I don’t get on board with trends or gimmicks like wearing a superhero bodysuit or… being a delivery guy and the guy who’s unable to pay.
That’s fun and all, but I try to make it authentic. That means most of my videos start out with us talking. Any conversation atall. Because we both know why we’re there, it’s not difficult to plan a way for it to lead into sexy talk.
Sometimes, we talk about what we specifically want to do, like a new thing for one of us. We talk about limits and consent. Sometimes, consent comes when we’re beginning to get busy. I always check in throughout fucking my partners.
There’s been very few instances in my long history of filming porn where someone’s complained about the constant check-ins. One fan even said that it takes them out of the moment. I didn’t even get a chance to respond before there were more than a dozen replies back to them, and they weren’t nice.
There’s an issue with YOU if you have an issue with consent.
I’m concerned about your own sexual behaviors.
Consent is sexy, and if you don’t think so, I pray that you remain close with your hand alone.
There are other models in the industry who I won’t work with because they refuse my particular brand of consent. Quite frankly, I’d warn everyone off from them if that’s the case. Someone who doesn’t understand the importance of communication before, during, and every fucking time shouldnotbe filming anything. That’s the wrong example we want in the world.
However, as I glance down at the screen, I realize that I’ve already lost ten minutes staring into the backyard at nothing, musing about my brand. Ruby is only half the distraction. Now that we’re home, Alka’s already chosen which guest room will be the first converted into a nurseryifwe can’t find the perfect family house before our family grows. Which means we’re beginning our research into parenting options.
All that to say I’m back to questioning my career options. I’mnot ashamed of what I do at all. I love my job, though not necessarily because of the orgasms. I have a sexy fucking husband to get those with. But my brand is important. I’m proving to the world that consentisimportant. I’m showing people that when someone says no or that they need to stop, that’s what you do—without getting mad.
I’m also showing that no doesn’t always mean your partner wants to stop entirely. It means there’s something very specific about what’s happening they don’t like. Conversation during sex, even a serious conversation like this, can still be sexy.
