“I’m happy that it’s just modified animal bodies with a human dick. I’m not sure I’m interested in seeing animal dicks, you know?” Jake says, making a scrunched face.
“There’s a line that we definitely don’t want to cross,” Oscar says, nodding.
“A very hard line where it goes from funny to disturbing,” Jake says, shuddering.
They continue to talk about the museum for a few minutes before catching up with each other’s lives, and I listen, keeping close to Alka’s side, which isn’t hard since his arm is still firmly wrapped around me. Then Oscar takes my hand.
Jake and Henry say goodbye after a while, and I watch them wander away. I can see why swinging with them might be appealing. I turn back to the display and study the dick inside. Is this really what a mummified dick looks like? I wonder if King Tut was the only one buried with a mummified erection.
“You alright?” Alka asks.
I nod then decide I’m going to ask my question out loud. “Do you think King Tut was the only pharaoh buried with a mummified erection?”
Oscar laughs under his breath.
“I… don’t know. I’d look it up, but that’s not possible right now,” Alka says. “That’s a good question, though. I wonder how many other ancients were buried with erections.”
My face scrunches as my thoughts take an unwelcome turn to corpses with erections. “Yeah, it’s fascinating with Tut, but I’m not sure I want to know the answer to that.”
“It truly is fascinating though,” Oscar says, taking a step closer to the replica of Tut’s mummified erection. “You can see the veins and everything. I’m seriously curious how they made it hard in death. And is that a true representation or, like, made bigger while they embalmed him.”
“Is that a thing?” I ask.
He looks at me with laughter in his eyes. “No idea. Idoknow that the body temporarily goes into rigor mortis after death, so moving the body into different positions can be more difficult the longer they’re dead, especially since its gone by twenty to twenty-four hours. But like, the dick is a very different kind of muscle, right? What kinds of properties does it take on when dead?”
I shake my head. “These are more questions about dead bodies than I ever thought I’d have,” I mutter and take a step beyond the replica of King Tut’s mummified erection. It’s equally as disturbing as it is amusing. Especially as the information plaque says that it might have been done in defiance to his father, who tried to change the Egyptians’ religion during his reign.
Being buried with an erect dick is definitely a different way of giving your father the middle finger in death. Just saying.
“So, the whole idea of mummification is that their bodies are preserved for the afterlife,” Alka says. I glance at him, finding that he’s fighting a smile. “Do you think he’s erect when he steps into the afterlife? Do you think he has to spend all of eternity with an erection because he was buried like that?”
“Oh my god,” I say, trying not to laugh too loudly.
“Okay, okay,” Oscar says, trying equally hard not to laugh. “Let’s go look at the gay orgy paintings on bowls from Ancient Greece.”
We wander around for a while and run into Jake and Henry several more times in different rooms. They don’t hang around, but we exchange exhibits that the other should check out. Needless to say, Alka suggests King Tut’s cock.
“You sure you’re okay?” Alka asks as they walk away for the fourth time.
I nod. Before I can ask another random question to move away from the gorgeous couple that they swing with, Oscar sets his hand on my neck, and I meet his eyes.
“You understand that we canceled on them so we could be with you, right?” he asks. “It was our choice, and we’d make it again.”
“I don’t want you to… miss out because of me.”
Alka sighs, wrapping his arm around me again and resting his head along mine. “We’re not missing out. We don’t regret it. It’s not going to happen again.”
“But—”
“Listen,” Oscar says before I can argue. “I understand why you feel conflicted, but I need you to think about this: we want to be with you. Not just here on Kala but for many, many years. We’renotgoing to do something you’re uncomfortable with.”
“Or someone,” Alka adds, and I snort.
“What we did with them was just something to pass the time. It was fun, but we’re not going to miss it. What wewouldmiss is losing you over something so frivolous as a few orgasms. I promise, there was nothing going on between us and either of those couples that’s worth losing this future we’ve just begun with you.”
I take a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m not really insecure, but… This is kind of new, and they’re really hot, and I’m not so…”
“You’re way hotter,” Oscar says.
