I snort and rest my head against Alka’s.
“That’s fair. I felt him peeking at you. I imagine that was a little awkward.” He looks at me over his shoulder.
I give him an innocent grin. “Sorry. Really. I was just… curious.”
Alka sighs, turning his attention back to Ruby. “So… polyamory. How does that make you feel?”
“I mean, I didn’t tell you you’re living in sin when you first brought it up,” Ruby points out.
He laughs. “Correct. You have the very mature and increasingly rare ability not to spout your unasked for opinion on a situation that doesn’t concern you. I’m rather impressed. It’s one of the things I like best about you.”
This time, Ruby laughs.
“But now that it affects you… How do you feel about it?”
Ruby meets my eyes again then looks at Alka. “How does it affectme, exactly? I mean, he’syourhusband. Not mine.”
“That’s a fair question,” I point out.
Alka nods. “I don’t want to live two separate lives, Ruby. The other day when we went to the boat and I felt guilty for leaving my husband to do something I knew he’d love? I hate that feeling. I avoid instances like that as often as I can. Please understand that I’m in no way saying that you have to be involved with both of us. I’mnotsaying this is all or nothing, but I need you two to be comfortable around each other so I’m notliving two separate and distinct lives. You can understand that, right?”
Ruby nods. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”
“No, no.” Alka inhales. “Okay, let’s try this again. I’ve dated other guys since Oscar and I have been together. A dozen over the last decade maybe. You already know that one of the first things I make perfectly clear is that I’m married and polyamorous, currently involved in an open marriage. We had that discussion right away, including the frustrations that come along with it.”
Ruby nods. “Yes. For good reason.”
“In my experience, the guys I’ve dated are all ‘okay’ with it right up until we truly get involved. They want to start spending more and more time together and get upset when it’s time for me to go home to my husband. They’re fine with my relationship right up until it actually affects them.”
Ruby’s shaking his head. “That’s not?—”
Alka touches his lips. “I know that’s not what’s happening right now. I know that Oz watching us make out startled you. Yes, he’s a creep like that.”
Ruby grins, meeting my eyes for a second, and I start to think this conversation is going to go much better than Alka’s dreading. Rubyisn’tbothered by our relationship. He’s just very conscious about feeling like the “other guy” and doesn’t want to be that or feel that way. Both are completely understandable.
“Almost every relationship I’ve been in has ended because they can’t accept this like they thought they could in the beginning. One guy even insisted that I divorce my husband to be with him instead.”
Ruby’s eyes go wide.
“Only one relationship didn’t end because I’m married.”
“Declan?”
I hide my smirk behind Alka’s shoulder.
“No. That wasn’t actually a relationship. Just me wanting a man who wasn’t interested.”
“Oh. That’s right. I think you said fake relationship.”
Alka nods. “My point is, I need to know if this is going to bother you. My marriage is extremely important to me. Oscar is the love of my life.”
“Alka,” I mutter.
Alka smiles. “I’ve always known I have the capacity to give my heart to two separate men. In different faculties. In love that’s unique to them but equally as strong. As important and meaningful. But I need to emphasize that Oscar isn’t going anywhere. I’m not going to split my life in two to be with someone who isn’t willing to have a relationship with Oscar—nota physical or sexual or emotional relationship. Friendship. Companionship. That kind of thing. I’m absolutely on board with being the fulcrum if you two don’t progress past that. I don’t care one way or the other. I just need to know that you’re actually okay with this, Ruby.”
“You’re talking like we don’t have an end date,” Ruby says. He gently touches Alka’s cheek.
Alka rests his head against Ruby’s. “We don’t have to have an end date, Ruby. We’ll go our separate ways at the end of the summer and resume our lives, but that doesn’t mean we can’t continue our relationship… if that’s something you want.”
