“I’m gonna need a minute. Or you can carry me.”
The way he gets so weak in the knees for me! He’s just… incredible. I stare down into his face as he sways a bit in my arms. He’s got bright blue eyeshadow on today. Black eyeliner. That stuff that makes your eyelashes long and dark. His lips were shiny, but now they’re just wet and a little swollen since I kissed off all his cherry gloss.
I run my fingers through his curls, which makes his eyelids flutter, and he pulls away slightly, pushing my hand away. “You’re going to make them crazy,” he huffs.
“They’re already going to get wild when you put a helmet on,” I say, bringing his hand down and securing it behind his back.
He struggles, laughing, as I tangle my fingers in his hair again. With a loose grip, I pull his head back so I can kiss him once more.
Lemon doesn’t let me devour him this time. He breaks our kiss and glares at me. “If you want to go, no getting me hot!”
Reluctantly, I step back from him. We’re not going on a date, exactly, but one or two nights a week, I’ve been bringing him home and picking him up the next morning. Just so we’re spending some time together. Sometimes we stop for breakfast on the way. Tonight, I’m going to take him for ice cream.
The situation with Jessica hasn’t changed. I talk to her most days and while I try not to let the conversation lead into her telling me she doesn’t want a divorce, I sometimes back myself into that corner without meaning to.
I always feel sick when I get off the phone with her. This shouldn’t be happening. I don’t regret the years we spent together at all, but somehow, I feel like maybe they just weren’t meant to happen. Maybe we should have gone separate ways sooner.
It’s really hard going through this divorce, especially since I’m keeping it as quiet as I can. Not because I’m ashamed or embarrassed, but she doesn’t need that kind of pressure on her. And luck would have it that we’d both suddenly have paparazzi around, invading our lives while we’re going through this shitty moment.
Which means seeing Lemon off campus would be tricky and probably not happen for some time.
I’ve already talked to Dean Devaroe and further up the ladder to let them know about my divorce and what it’s likely going to mean. RDU is an open campus. Visitors are always free to come and go as they please. But there will be paparazzi present once this gets to the press, which is going to be fucking fun.
I think I have Jessica convinced to stay with her parents once it goes public. Just so she’s not facing it alone. And of course, that led to her saying I should just come home and we can handle it together.
I’m not sure I truly have her understanding that would be the opposite of helpful because we’renotgetting back together, and the divorceisgoing through. Now, because she refuses any of our shared assets, we’re delayed as we wait for them to sell. Not that we actually have a plan for once they do, since she doesn’t want that money either.
At this point, I anticipate it’s going to end up in a trust or something.
Not that it matters right now. Tonight is about me and Lemon. I open the door and Lemon steps into the hall. There are still voices coming from the locker room and I wave at Denis as we pass his open office door.
Lemon’s been quiet and definitely shy when we’re seen together on campus. I might be concerned about it except I can see in his eyes that he’s nervous. He doesn’t want to say or do the wrong thing, so he backs down and lets me lead the interactions.
But just like I described Alka and Roux to him, that’s what we’ve become. We’re a known secret. My friends know. People see us together on campus and while I’m careful not to show too much PDA, I do hold his hand sometimes. There are moments when I can’tnottouch him and end up running my fingers through his hair or dropping a kiss to his lush lips.
The way he looks at me when I do any of these things in public makes me ridiculously warm to this man and sad. It’s clear that being treated well, like he’s wanted and cared for, is very new to him. He’s not lacking confidence as a person, but he’s completely insecure in any kind of relationship.
Once in the parking lot, I secure our bags into the saddlebags and strap the helmet on his head. I got him a helmet all his own with a visor, so he’s not squinting so much when the sun’s not out for him to wear his sunglasses. I left it on his desk last week with a note asking if he’d like to go for a ride with me later.
As soon as he’s on the back, his arms circle my waist, and he cuddles into me with a heavy sigh. I always drive the long way to his house. All back roads with low speed limits. We stop for ice cream, and I swing him around so he’s straddling my lap on my bike as we lick our treats.
We don’t say much as we eat them, but our eyes rarely leave each other. We steal creamy, cold kisses every few bites as we sit in the parking lot with others sharing quiet moments between them.
Even these simple moments feel big and I’m already wondering when we can do it again.
CHAPTER 29
LEMON
Itried my hand at romance this morning. For the record, I have very little experience with romance. But I saw this cute meme on ShareIt about how a guy thought a fun, cute date would be getting an origami kit and making them together. They sat on his living room floor for hours, making shapes and laughing together.
When I say I spent hours trying to make these shapes, I mean that. I was up to almost one this morning trying to perfect at leastoneshape. I even wrote something sweet on each because that’s cute, right? Somehow, I made it through all thirty and went to bed frustrated.
This morning, I stuffed them all carefully into a paper bag and snuck into Hansley’s office to quickly leave them everywhere. Like a scavenger hunt.
But as I stood back in the door to look, I got the distinct impression that I just threw trash all over the place. They were shit—torn and crumpled, and none of them looked like the shape they were supposed to be.
I tried to dive back in and quickly scoop them all up, but I heard voices. In a panic, I flipped off his light and ran in the opposite direction, following halls blindly until I found an exitand burst into the sun. I ran all the way to my office and shut the door as I caught my breath.
