A shiver races down my back. I swallow.
Our ride home is quiet. We don’t talk. Etna’s hands remain locked around the steering wheel as I constantly adjust. My hard-on isnotlessening. Not at all. If anything, I’m getting harder. Which seems impossible.
It takes far too long before we’re home. We race inside, and I slam the door shut behind us. Kicking off our shoes as we get into the house, Etna trips over them and slides across the floor. We laugh, then I bend to haul him to his feet and together, we head into the bedroom.
There’s no finesse as we undress each other. Part of me thinks this should be slow and sensual. Something romantic. But I couldn’t slow down right now even if I wanted to. I’m ready. Hell, I’ve been ready. I need this now. I need Etna right this second.
He pushes me onto the bed, on my hands and knees. We’ve talked about this a lot—how we want our first time to go. I’m going to start on my knees while he preps me. It’s better access and easier for him to stretch me. He’s going to stretch me with four fingers, though he rolls his eyes because he swears his cock isn’t as thick as four fingers.
Then I’m going to roll over so we can look at each other. Kiss and touch and check in with each other face to face.
We’re not using a condom. Since we’ve brought it up a few times each, I think we’re both nervous about it. As we discussed, Etna drops one on the bed beside me in case at any time, we decide we want one.
It’s a struggle to remind ourselves that we can’t get pregnant. Even if we wanted to, it’s not a thing. It’s not possible. We also know we’re negative. Our test results came back clear for everything. And we did the extensive STI screenings to check for every-fucking-thing.
We’re good. We’re safe. I think we’re both also a little terrified.
I close my eyes as his fingers begin to sink into me. One of the articles I read about bottoming said to think of it like labor. I should be concentrating on my breathing and keeping my muscles relaxed.
Since we decided I’d bottom first, we’ve spent a lot of time with Etna’s fingers in my ass. There’s no hiding that I enjoy it. Now is no different. I groan, letting my head drop as pleasure begins trickling through me. One more finger. Another. The stretch isn’t painful. Not anymore. Even that feels good.
Etna removes his fingers and rolls me over, so I’m splayed out before him. He’s panting like it was him with a hand up his ass. Seeing him so turned on only fuels the fires inside me hotter. I swallow.
“Condom or no?” he asks as he gets between my legs.
I glance at it and shake my head. “I want to feel you inside me. For you to come inside me.”
Etna groans. His hand wraps around his dick and for a minute, he just holds himself. It calms me to see how into this he is. How turned on he is. I watch as he lubes himself, then he sticks his fingers inside me again with more lube. Just in case.
When he’s done, he leans over me, his hands on either side of my head. We stare into each other’s eyes as he runs his dick along mine. “Ready?”
I nod.
He leans down to kiss me, bringing his body with him. He adjusts. The head of his cock skims my balls and taint until it’s laying along my crack. I grin into his mouth, bringing my knees up higher. Etna continues to rub against me, his cockhead getting caught on my hole every other stroke. He catches again and starts to push in, but his dick slips up and pokes my balls.
I laugh. “You can use your hand, you know.”
Etna grins. “Yeah, I know. I wanted to see how wide I got your ass. I should just slide right in, right?”
I laugh again. “Jerk.”
We kiss as he continues his blind balling it. Eventually, he manages to get into the right position and his head slides in. Mybody immediately tenses. Etna sucks on my lip. “You okay?” he murmurs as I convince my muscles to relax.
“I thought you were going to miss again,” I say.
He chuckles.
As he slides in a little more with slow, gentle rocks, I realize he was missing on purpose. This man doesn’t miss anything. My thoughts skip away as his dick pushes inside me.
It’s different from his fingers. To start with, he’s already deeper than his fingers reach. I can tell because my body is no longer entirely on board with this. My breath keeps catching. There’s some discomfort. Maybe some stinging? I’m struggling to keep my muscles relaxed.
I jerk and push Etna away. He backs off immediately. “I’m sorry,” he says, gently pulling his dick from my ass.
Taking a breath, I shake my head. “I’m freaking myself out. I’m back to remembering that you’re putting something in my ass and it’s kind of weird again.”
Etna lies on top of me again. “I hate to break it to you, but this first time is probably going to be weird. Just like all our other firsts. Remember our first kiss?”
I smile, turning my face into his cheek. “Yeah. That was awkward as fuck.”
