I glance up, raising my eyes above my tablet. We’re in the living room of his house today. I think we’ve both been consciously giving living here a try, and yes, it’s far more practical.
Sure, we do just fine living in small spaces together. But when we have our friends over for games, my place is too small and crowded. When we want our families to come down and stay, my house has a single, tiny guest room and there’s not a lot of room for anything else.
Etna’s house is the smarter option, with three guest rooms and over 3,000 square feet of indoor space. Even without mentioning the double lot of land his house sits on and the very large pool outside, or the outdoor living space with kitchen, dining, and living areas.
He wasn’t wrong. He bought it for very practical reasons that didn’t take away from his ability to enjoy life, either.
However, I think he’s right. Our hearts are on the lake. That’s where our toys are. That’s where we like to spend our downtime.
Etna is reclining on the couch on his own tablet. I watch him, wondering if someday I’ll be brave enough to cuddle up with him. As I study him, I decide I’ve watched enough gay porn to know he’d be a hit. Guys would eat him up over and over again.
I’ve definitely scored here.
A grin climbs my face, though I don’t look away. The more I watch him, the more I think that one day I will be in love with him. I want to be. I want the best of both kinds of marriage—practical and one of love. That can happen, can’t it?
Etna looks up and my heart jumps into my throat at being caught staring. He gives me a smirk. I must look like a deer caught in headlights. My eyes even feel wide and round to myself, so I can only imagine how I’m looking at him.
“You ready?” he asks.
Today is the day we’re exchanging lists. I nod. Yes. That’s totally the reason I’m staring. I was trying to figure out if he was ready.
“Come over here then.”
Dropping my feet to the ground, I cross the space until I’m sitting beside him. Am I too close? Fuck, I’ve never thought about that before. How close do I normally sit beside Etna?
He leans closer and shares his screen, using his finger to show me the list that goes on and on. Setting my tablet down, I take his and read the first few lines. They seem easy enough. Get engaged. Duh. Share the news. Take engagement photos.
I look at Etna, perplexed.
“I was going to leave out some of the thingsIthought were ridiculous, but on the chance that you might want to do them, I decided to includeeverything.Keep scrolling.”
Out of curiosity, I scroll down to find the bottom. Down and down and down. “What the fuck?” I say. It takes me like eight full screen swipes until it stops moving. “Seriously?”
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say we can probably delete like half this shit. There are some very strange things on here that I have to assume are from an older, more traditional time period. Like a hope chest—I’m not even sure what that is. There are things about asking the bride’s father for his blessing and whose side of the family is supposed to contribute what. Who’s supposed to handle which parts of the wedding—parents, mind you.” Etna shakes his head.
“Can we just do it ourselves?” I ask. “No offense, but I don’t trust my parents to plan my wedding.”
“Oh, same. I’d ask Eddy to help because she knows me inside and out, but yeah, no.”
“And… since there are no brides, should we be asking for blessings? Going to be honest, the only thing I can hear in my head—having never met your parents, so this isn’t a reflection of my opinion about them—is someone sayingyou want my blessing to turn my son gay?”
Etna’s hand lands on my leg and he squeezes. “That’snotgoing to happen, Keno.”
“I know there are a lot of happy stories. Happy endings. Lots of support and love and… the way it should be. But there are easily an equal number of really ugly, horrible stories about when someone comes out to their parents. Idon’tthink that’s going to be the case for me, but fuck, what if it is?”
“It won’t be. Butif it is with anyone at all, I’m right here. We have a big network of friends who we know will support us. I know my parents will, without question.”
“It’s weird thinking about it because I’m not gay. Yet, I’m going to be coming out like I am. That’s a very… strange, out-of-body experience as it unfolds. Like I’m watching it happen, unsure what to do?”
“You want to rethink this?” Etna asks.
I drop my hand to his and grip him fiercely. “No. Never.”
He presses his shoulder against mine. “We’ll work through it together. Just like we do everything else. But for the record, I don’t think you’re going to have that issue with anyone who matters.”
I nod.
“Also, I think you need to give sexuality a little more attention. We’re not coming out as gay at all, bro. We’re coming out as bisexual.”
