More often than not, Hugo likes to lay on me. Not completely on top of me, but partially so his body is half draped. Like I’m the big spoon. There’s something about it that I absolutely love, though I’m not entirely sure what it is. Ifeelbigger even though I’m definitely not.
“I love this,” Hugo murmurs, his fingers gently soothing over my skin.
“Me too.”
“I love how you fit with me.”
I kiss his head, letting my eyes drift shut. His words just add to the euphoric mix of emotions that sit full of warmth in my chest.
“You’re just… perfect.”
I huff. “I’m definitely not perfect.”
“Yes, you are. You’re the perfect shape and size and definition and weight. Everything.”
My eyes roll behind my closed eyelids. “Not true. I’m pretty sure I’m underweight for my height.”
He pffts. “I don’t care what doctors’ statistics say. You’re exactly right.”
“Thanks, Hugo.”
It’s not enough that I accept his compliment though. He proceeds to list all the things he loves about me. “I love your hair—it’s so soft and pretty. I love how it frames your face and when you’re feeling shy, you let it fall forward so you can hide behind it. You have the most beautiful, unique eyes I’ve ever seen. I could stare into them all day. I love,lovehow tall you are. You’re almost perfectly my height and I can hug you exactly right. I can kiss you easily and eagerly. I love the shape of your lips and your ears and the length of your neck.”
He kisses my neck and then nibbles at my collarbone, sending a chill down my spine.
“I love this spot, so pronounced and sensitive. I love your hands and how they are the matching puzzle pieces to my own. You have muscles, but they’re not as pronounced as mine. They’re beautifullines that I love to trace. I love how long your legs are and how they wrap around me.” His hand drops between my legs, cupping my groin. “I love your cock. It’s such a perfect, respectable length. Not grotesquely too big.”
I laugh.
His mouth turns to my jaw as he kisses me. His smile evident in the way his lips move over my skin.
“I love your laughter and your smile. I love your quiet voice and how shy you are. I love how much you blush and how hot your skin burns.”
Ugh. Talking about it makes me blush and I cringe.
Hugo smiles bigger. “I love your knowledge of things. Everything and anything. You always have a suggestion or an answer. I love how strong you are, knowing your strengths and fighting through your challenges every day. I love that no matter how many hurdles the world throws at you, you’re still out in it. Dancing in front of 15,000 people and making them smile. Making them cheer. I love how brave you are, knowing how much I love my friends and always coming with me, even when I think it’s hard for you. You don’t always have to be brave. I’m happy to stay home with you and not go out all the time.”
While it started with my appearance, it ends up encompassing everything else about me, too. I’m not sure if it’shiswords or that my heart’s longed to hear someone say these things to me and mean them, but I’m almost crying by the time he stops talking.
I hug him tightly, wishing I had words to express how much every single thing he said touches me. Every insecurity I have, Hugo mentioned. But not in any way that could be described as anything other than affectionate. Fond. Even admiring.
“Thank you,” I whisper, trying to hide my tears.
Hugo sighs. His arm wraps around my middle and he hugs me in return. “I think you’re the best thing that’s happened to me, Torin.”
I sniff. “Since hockey?”
He shakes his head. “No. Hockey is only a temporary thing. I will grow out of it eventually. Or I suppose more accurately, it will leave me behind. You are different. We can grow together. I want to keep you forever.”
Yep. That does it. I can’t fight the tears that leak out of thecorners of my eyes and run into my hair. I wrap both my arms around his shoulders and squeeze him with every ounce of strength inside me.
The words are on the tip of my tongue, I so desperately want to say them. I want him to know. But I’m scared. Even with everything he just said, and knowing it’s not the kind of person Hugo is, I’m still terrified that if I tell him I love him before he’s there, he’s going to leave.
The word ‘clingy’ comes to mind. I don’t want to be that person. And I don’t want to do anything to make Hugo leave me.
“I want that too,” I manage to say. “I want forever.”
I try to keep the tears in. Try to stop them. But my heart needs them and he just hit something deep inside me. Ican’tstop the tears. I’m not sobbing, it’s not those kinds of tears.
