I nod. “It is. Both that we’re constantly having our spaces taken over by those who have their own and that they feel so threatened in their own places they choose to come into ours. I get it. But it’s nice to have our own space where we feel safe. I’m talking as a whole. We both know I don’t go to gay clubs.”
He grins. “You danced with Noah.”
“I did. It was terrifying. I was dizzy most of the time I was on my feet.”
Hugo sighs, laying down next to me again and pulling me close. “Maybe I’ll get invited to their gay cruise this year. Will you come with me if I do? We don’t have to spend all the time with everyone. There are a lot of places where it’s quiet. That’s what Noah said. He’s shown me a ton of pictures.”
“The others don’t go?”
“Last summer was Atty’s first. He and Toby. Egon doesn’t go. I think he says it’s not Rake’s thing. And Winny doesn’t go because he’s not part of the Gays Can Play crowd. But even though I’m not gay—like, fully gay, I mean—I think I can go now. Noah said I could go before, but I thought maybe it would be weird for everyone if I was there.”
I kiss his forehead. “Yes, I’ll go if you’re invited.”
“I hope I am. I miss my friends when they’re away.”
He’s got such a fucking good heart. It just kills me how sweet and soft he is.
“What kinds of places do you want to visit?” Hugo asks.
“I want to swim in clear waters where you can see the sandy bottom when it’s more than a dozen feet below. And I’d love to see ruins! Any kind of ruins. I’m fascinated with history.”
Hugo nods. “That’s really fun. Like ancient places from Egypt. I think it would be so awesome to tour a pyramid. And also morbid. That’s where they put dead bodies.”
“Tell me about it. I have mixed feelings. Like, it’s a crime to dig up a grave here. Burial places are sacred. Indigenous burial grounds are protected. And yet, we’re emptying ancient tombs and putting their bodies and belongings on display in museums. How is that even okay?”
“Yes!” Hugo exclaims. “That’s what I’m saying. Yet, I’m intrigued by their funerary art. The way they painted their pyramids. It’s just… amazing, you know?”
And thus, we begin a very long discussion about death as we watch airplanes take off and the stars shine brightly down on us.
Chapter Twenty-One
HUGO
I fallinto bed beside Torin in the middle of a yawn. It wasn’t even a game day and yet, I feel beat. Like I could sleep for a year. Torin scooches closer and I smile, despite how tired I am. Maybe I haven’t slept in a while. Maybe I stayed up later than I realized.
Rolling over is a struggle, but I manage to get onto my back. I hope I’m not coming down with a cold or something. Is it normal to be this tired? To feel like my muscles are heavy?
Torin presses along the side of me, his lean body flush to the side of mine. “You okay?” he asks, his voice quiet.
I nod, another yawn escaping. “Just really tired for some reason.”
“You play hard,” he says.
That’s true enough. I’ve always thought that if we’re going to play, it should be with everything we have. We should always give 100% of ourselves to the game, otherwise there’s someone who deserves it more waiting in the wings for our position.
Torin presses his lips to my chest and a smile drifts across my lips, my eyes fluttering closed. His lips continue to press softly to my skin, over my pectorals, across my collarbone. His hand, always so soft and hesitant, feathers along my side. Up and over until it’s resting on my stomach. My abdominals twitch under his touch.
I’m naked, which isn’t surprising. If given the choice, I will always be naked. I’d do very well in a nudist colony. But being nakedmeans there’s no hiding what his touch and his mouth are doing to me.
My dick is always noticeable—especially since I’ve given up trying to hide it—but when it gets hard, it may as well be a flagpole. Torin’s touch may be soft and might not be sexual, but my body is hungry. I haven’t been touched in… months. I’m not even sure of when the last time I brought a girl home.
Which means, the time in my shower with Torin aside, I haven’t gotten off in eons. No wonder I’m so ready right now.
It’s a very strange feeling, really. A lot of the time when I was with girls and let them touch me, the idea of getting off with them was far more appealing then when they actually touched me. Sometimes, I’d convince myself they just weren’t good at jerking or sucking or whatever. After a while, I came to realize it probably wasn’t them. It was me.
I used to think that about half the time I wasn’t interested in getting off with them. But I think in reality, it’s far more accurate to say less than a quarter of the time I was interested. Really, I was disinterested in them, period. When pressed, I’m not even sure why I brought them home.
It’s different with Torin because IlikeTorin. I like to hear him talk; in general and I especially love when he tells me about himself. I love getting to know him. It makes every little thing after that so much better. So much more heightened.
