I nod, unsure why I feel sad. And hurt. I shouldn’t feel either. I don’t even understandwhyI feel either.
“Will you be here later?” I ask, hopefully.
Torin is chewing on his lip again as he studies me. “Yeah,” he whispers. “If you want me to be.”
I nod resolutely. “Yes. Please. Definitely be here.” Because I feel like maybe I need a hug right now, I pull Torin to me and wrap him up in a tight hug. “I really need you here after. Promise me?” I murmur.
“Yeah. I’ll be here.”
Sighing, I keep myself wrapped around him. His fingers dig into my back. I love when they do. It makes my insides feel all tingly and happy.
But there’s something almost sad hanging between us right now. Something that’s making me feel like I’m struggling to breathe. I’m not sure why I feel as if this is some finality. Like when Torin leaves, I won’t see him again.
“Good.”
He nods and takes a step back. I’m hesitant to let him go, so I just stare at him. He’s just… beautiful. Have I always thought he was beautiful? I know I’ve always thought his eyes were. They’re so uniquely colored; I’d love to stare into them forever. And then there are his pink lips—not too small and not the kind of faded skin tone that practically blends in. They’re bright. Not like lipstick just… distinct.
I’m now staring at his lips as I lean in a little closer. I want to memorize their exact shape. Do they feel as soft as they look? Absently, I lick my lips.
Torin steps away and I blink out of my thoughts. “Okay. I’ll see you later.”
I watch as Torin walks out my front door and climbs into his car. I’m not even sure where he’s going. “You have your key?” I call after him.
Torin glances at me and nods. “Yep.”
Then he’s driving away. It feels like he’s taking my breath with him and it’s a struggle to take another.
“It’s fine,” I insist to myself. “He’ll be right back. I have a date to go to.”
Resolutely, I climb into my car and head down the road toward Antonio’s. I drive by it initially because… Well, I don’t have a reason. I’m not ready yet, I guess. But when I go around the block and come back, I pull into the parking lot.
Then I circle the lot twice. Not because there isn’t parking. There is. A lot. But because I’m not sure I want to be here. This shouldn’t be so hard. Are dates supposed to make you feel this way?
When my phone makes a noise, I stop driving in circles and pull off to the side. With my foot firmly on the brake, I pick up my phone. I received a text from my date. It’s a picture of an orange flower on a table that’s clearly at Antonio’s. She’s there. Waiting for me. She has a single orange flower with her so I can identify her.
I still think I should cancel. I can just tell her I’m a piece of shit and I chickened out. That maybe… maybe there’s this guy I kinda like and I think maybe he might kinda also like me. But is that weird?
What it is, is shitty. She’s already here.
I park my car in the nearest vacant spot and get out, determinedly walking to the front door. Whether this goes well or not, doesn’t matter. I think I really like Torin and I’mgoingto tell him that when I get home. I think I was hurt because he wanted me to date someone else. But if he knows I’d rather he go on a date with me instead, maybe… he’ll feel differently?
Stepping inside, Tony is there to greet me. I think he lives here. “Hi, Tony.”
“Hugo,” he says warmly.
“I’m looking for an orange flower.”
“Ah,” he muses, a warm smile on his face. “Your usual booth. Margerie will be bringing you wine soon.”
I nod, though I’m not sure I like wine.
Taking a deep breath, I step into the dining room and head for my booth. She’s looking at her phone. Her hair is short and blonde with dark roots. So much like Torin’s. In fact, as I get closer, she looks a lot like…
Torin looks up and I just stand there dumbly. Staring. I don’t understand what he’s doing here. I’m supposed to be on a date.
He raises his phone and takes my picture. A second later, my phone pings in my hand. But all I can do is look at him, confused.
“Look at your phone,” he says quietly.
