I laugh. “Hugo, I’ve made this trip too many times to count. I swear—I promise—I’ll be fine.”
He nods, but I don’t think he’s happy about it. I don’t know why I’m not just going to his house like I really want to. I think maybe a part of me is trying to protect myself. Maybe how close we’re getting means something very different to me than it does Hugo, and I’m afraid I’m truly going to fall for him.
Crushing on a man you don’t know is one thing. Even if it’s the person you adore from afar—due to his kindness, his happiness, his generosity, his loyalty to his friends—it’s still impersonal because you don’t know that person. You just don’t. You can know everything about him, but if you haven’t spoken to him or spent time with him, you don’t know him.
But now IknowHugo. I’ve spent much of the last couple weeks with him. Spent a whole lot of time—close, intimate, and now sexual moments with him. He’s not just what the world sees. He’s not only what I’ve seen from afar.
He’s more. He’s better. They say your heroes often let you down when you meet them in real life. That’s definitely not the case. Hugo’s even more perfect in person.
“All right,” he says. I can feel his reluctance to walk away. “At least get in your car so I know you’re safe.”
I nod. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Hugo nods in return.
I climb into my car and watch him in my rearview mirror as I drive away. He doesn’t move. My heart races and it’s truly a struggle to keep my determination to go home. At the very least, I need tofeed my fish. The auto feeder doesn’t give Fish Hugo everything he needs. It only sustains him for a couple days until I can give him a proper meal.
Like usual, I spend most of the ride thinking about Hugo. How he watched me as I drove away. His goal tonight. That he wanted me to spend the night again.
I’m kicking myself when I finally lock myself in my apartment. This is lame. I’m hating how far away I live now. It’s so inconvenient.
Because I said I was going to, I pull out a bag and start loading it with clothes. Just to store it in my car. Honestly, I can probably look beyond the clothes, but wearing the same underwear more than once is gross. Twenty-four hours is my limit.
Once I’m packed and have tossed the bag by the door, I tend to my fish. Since their tank still looks good, I don’t feel quite so bad for leaving them for so long. From my freezer, I toss a few frozen cubes of sea things into a cup of water from the tank and set a fish head for Fish Hugo on the counter.
While it’s all thawing, I get ready for bed. It doesn’t take long for any of my frozen sea grossness to thaw and I pour it throughout the tank for the sharks before feeding Fish Hugo his fish head. I wash my hands once more before falling into bed with my phone.
I spend fuck knows how long just staring at my text conversation with Hugo and can’t stop myself from sending him a message. Only after it’s sent do I realize I sent it from my phone number and not the app we usually use to communicate. Which means I’m the ‘girl’ he thinks he’s been talking to right now.
Since it was a simple ‘hi’ because I’m still awkward as fuck when I begin a conversation, I’m not overly concerned. Though I want him to really like me as me. Not the me he thinks is a girl.
Hugo’s response is almost immediate.
Hugo
Hi! Why are you up so late?
Me
Just got home. Worked late tonight.
Hugo
Wow, that’s super late. Why aren’t you fast asleep?
Me
Don’t know. I’m too wide awake for sleep, I guess. What’re you up to?
Hugo
I’d gone out with some friends so I’m now just laying in bed. Just got home ten minutes ago.
He really didn’t stay out long. For some reason, that makes me smile. It also makes my chest tight because I wish I were there with him instead of here alone.
Me
Did you have fun?
