I’m a bad person for wishing there were more permanent consequences for his actions than just a fine and maybe some jail time. I may change my mind later, but I wish there were some karmic penalties for the asshole who thought it was a good idea to drink and drive. He should be the one to suffer. No one else.
Idon’tfeel bad for feeling that way.
Chapter Thirty-Four
TORIN
I’m floating.My limbs feel heavy. My brain feels foggy. My breaths feel… weird. I can’t quite figure out what’s different, but it definitely feels weird to breathe. Which is a strange feeling to have. Breathing should be natural and innate. I shouldn’t even be aware of it. Yet, I ammoreaware of it than usual. It’s distracting.
I spend a lot of time concentrating on my breathing. Not to alter it, but just studying it. Trying to figure out why it’s different. Why am I so conscious of it?
Movement around me makes me open my eyes. I’m slightly startled when they open. As if I hadn’t known they were closed. I don’t recognize my surroundings. The room is white and beige and gray. Very sterile looking. There’s a constant beep in the background, regular and rhythmic.
My body feels heavier now that my eyes are open. I’m aware of aches here and there. My upper back. My leg. My wrist. My head. Definitely my head. And my face. Hell, I think even my eyes hurt. And my teeth! Are teeth supposed to hurt?
Everything inside me feels jarred. Like I was shook or tossed or something. Like a salad. Shaken up to make sure every piece has some dressing. I was shaken like a salad.
Why would someone do that to a person?
There’s a slight pressure on my hand and I glance down. At first,I can’t decide what I’m seeing. Something is growing from my hand. Growing away and up and… oh. That’s another hand.
My eyes follow the hand to the arm, chest, and face. He’s beautiful. Looking at him makes my chest tight. And warm. My breath, which I’m still keenly aware of, struggles a little more. Does he know how beautiful he is?
Why does he look so sad?
“Hi,” he says.
Oh, his voice is just as beautiful as his face. Hopefully he’ll speak again.
“I’m Hugo. Do you remember me?”
I know him! Wait. No, I don’t. But I’m supposed to, apparently. That’s what he’s saying, right? I should know him.
“I’m your boyfriend,” this man says.
He’s mine. That’s what I heard. I get to keep him. That’s good news at least. I shake my head. It’s so heavy and shaking it makes my brain hurt so I don’t shake it much. Just a little.
“Are you feeling okay? Do you want something to eat? Or drink?”
It takes me several tries to convince my head I need to shake it again. There needs to be another way to answer.
“Are you in pain?”
Maybe nodding won’t hurt so bad. Since it’s the truth at any rate, I try nodding. Honestly, I think shaking my head in any direction isn’t going to be my favorite thing. That’s a different kind of discomfort but one all the same.
My boyfriend Hugo, whom I should know, reaches across my body and presses a button. I don’t feel anything different. Was that supposed to numb the pain? Maybe he needs to do it again. Just to be sure it worked.
Then we’re staring at each other. I wish he were closer. It feels lonely right here and I’m sure I’ll like it if he’s closer. It takes some effort and a minute to remember how, but I eventually manage to squeeze his hand a little. No. That was the wrong hand. I find it amusing enough that I almost smile.
Eventually, I get the right hand and Hugo smiles. It’s a sad smile. Why is he so sad?
His hand tightens around mine. Not painfully, but I’m definitely more aware.
The door opens and people walk in. I can hear multiple sets of shoes. “Torin. Baby, you’re awake.”
I don’t look away from Hugo, though the woman’s voice is familiar. I just want to stare at him. Will it bother him if I do? He gives me another sad smile.
“Here, Mrs. Jonah,” Hugo says and releases my hand.
