Wiliker sighs. “I know. I should do it, but by the time the next game gets here, there are a hundred other things I’m doing instead.”
Rigbe snorts. “For real. I feel like I’m always racing the clock, but like, do I ever even accomplish anything? It doesn’t feel like I do.”
“Because your to-do list doesn’t end?” Winny asks.
“That,” Rigbe agrees. “And I don’t know. I get that I have plenty of time between hockey obligations but somehow, it feels like I’m always running out of time.”
“The best advice I was ever given is this—if you can hire out for something, do it. Between travel, conditioning, practice, and other hockey shit, not to mention personal shit like whatever your agent has going on for you, your time is limited and valuable. Use that time for things you enjoy and to rejuvenate,” Atty explains.
“Or get a kept boyfriend,” Noah says. “Lix does all those things now.”
Rigbe laughs. “I’ll think about it.”
“The thing is, getting a girlfriend who will do that when you tell them that’s what you’re looking for, they think you’re trying to make them into a ‘50s housewife,” Wiliker says.
“I said kept boyfriend. Not the same thing,” Noah teases as he sits on the bench to wait for us.
Those listening to the conversation laugh.
“Fair enough. I’ll put out an ad,” Rigbe says.
Noah grins. His attention turns to me as I sit and when he winks. I smile in return. I enjoy being in on his jokes or whatever. I love our friendship.
Coach Ajo comes in and gives us our usual pre-game talk. What I love about Coach Ajo is that it’s not just a generic ‘play hard and win’ speech. It’s always specific to the team we’re playing. Reminding us of their strengths and making sure we know how we can use their weaknesses to our advantage.
When I get onto the ice, I immediately look around the arena for any glimpse I can catch of Surry the Seal. As I make a circuit on our half of the ice, I search the crowds and don’t see him. It’s not a huge deal. I don’t always see him right away. He could not be out yet, though that’s unlikely. What is likely is that he could be in the lobby, greeting everyone when they come in. Torin does that a lot.
Instead of obsessing over finding him, I search for my number in the crowd. There’s a group of three people, all wearing my jersey. I grin hugely and then turn back to my task and begin to warm up.
All throughout the warmup, I keep half an eye on the stands, looking for Torin. Just because I want to see him. I always see him before the game. But he’s not there. By the time we’re ushered into the chute before puck drop, I haven’t seen him.
Still not a big deal. Torin does a lot of things for the team, and even as Surry the Seal, he has a lot of different tasks. It’s fine. I’m bummed, but it’ll be fine.
I take the handful of minutes to concentrate on my breathing and getting my head into hockey zone. By the time we’re back on the ice and I’m in my spot waiting for the puck drop, I’m feeling good.
It’s down and Edmonton takes control. It gets tossed between two players in their own zone before being shot down to our end. I grin when one of their players jumps over Miles’ stick when he tries to get the puck away.
But then I’m focused on keeping the puck away from Winny. I try not to crowd him because I know that makes him annoyed. The painted area in front of the net is his zone and he needs room to do his job. I make it my job to make sure it’s clear of other players.
It’s a long few minutes as I constantly beat back the puck. Edmonton is playing fiercely tonight. Thankfully, Atty magics the puck away and slings it down to the other end along the boards. I take that as a sign that I can catch my breath and head for the bench.
As I take a seat and squirt water into my mouth, my eyes scan the crowd again, looking for Torin. I don’t see him. Not that I can spend much time looking. We’re three minutes in with a scoreboard reading 0-0. I don’t hate the double zeroes. At least we’re not down right now.
By the end of the first period, we’re ahead 2-1. I like those odds. They’re good odds. I take my time getting off the ice, searching the crowd for Torin. It’s weird that I haven’t seen him yet. Still, I try not to worry about it. Especially when I get back to my cubby and check my phone, finding nothing there.
“You okay?” Noah asks, shoving me gently on his way by.
I nod. My stomach feels… uneasy, though I can’t explain why. Am I that obsessed with Torin that I’m feeling like I need to see him all the time? “Yeah. Fine,” I answer.
Torin is doing his job and I need to concentrate on mine.
“You sure?” Winny asks.
Taking a breath, I set down my phone and drop onto the bench in front of my cubby. “Yep.” I offer them all a smile so they believe me.
The twenty minute intermission feels drawn out. Sometimes I feel like the break is too long. Like today. But there are other times when it feels like I just sat down.
We get back on the ice and I feel like I’m watching from above. Even when I’m on the ice. There’s a strange disconnect as I go through the motions that I don’t understand. Every chance I get, I’m looking into the audience. Searching for my boyfriend.
