In fact, I can’t even get around it to open the door. I’m stuck trudging through the snow to the side door and letting myself in that way. I track snow through my house until I get to the front, then attempt to gently wrestle the flowers inside without destroying them. Thankfully, there isn’t water in the vase, so it’s not frozen.
I set it on my dining room table and carefully unwrap it, a task that takes me ages. Then I stand back and look. It’s… beautiful. Gorgeous. There’s something masculine about it withcurly twigs and floofy dark fronds. The colors are dark, like winter, splashed with icy whites and blues.
I’ve never seen something so stunning.
It takes me through my damn birthday to find the card hiding inside the stems, but I manage to get my hands on the little business card. On the back is a typed message that reads:
I haven’t stopped thinking about you and wanted you to have a visual to depict how much room you take up in my mind. I miss you. -LD
My breath catches. I read the card over and over again. Fuck my life.
Without thinking, I pull my phone out and open the app to his name. My eyes are a little watery—must be from the pollen—so I don’t try to read the message there. I just hit the little phone button. A glance at the clock says it’s noon. He’s in Vancouver right now for a game tonight, but it’s three hours earlier. I’m not even sure if he’s off the plane.
“Hi,” Lo answers. “Just pulling into the hotel.”
“Hurry up and call me when you’re in your room,” I say and end the call. To keep myself from having a sappy meltdown, I shut all my doors, strip from my outdoor clothing, and busy myself by cleaning up the mess I made of snow through my first floor. I’m just throwing my sweaty laundry into the washing machine when my phone rings.
“You didn’t just send me a field of flowers!” I demand.
Lo laughs. “Is it that big?”
“Yes. I had to fight with it to get them through the door without ruining it. I thought there was a tree on my front porch, Lo.”
He chuckles. “The picture was beautiful. I didn’t look to see how big it was.”
I lean on the wall and rest my head there. “I miss you too,” I say.
Lo sighs. “It’s bad, isn’t it?” he asks. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m driving myself crazy.”
My eyes sting and I squeeze them shut. “It was one weekend,” I reason, hearing the slight depreciation in my voice.
A quiet huff of laughter meets my ears. “I know. I think we’ve probably shared the same internal arguments.”
“So… what?” I ask.
“I don’t think we need to answer that. This is our secret. No matter where we go from here, it’s still ours to keep. I think we can just see what happens.”
“Everything is against us, you know,” I argue. “I feel like we’re setting ourselves up for heartache.”
“I might have agreed with you a week ago. But you have a family very close to you that would disagree. Distance is temporary.”
I’m not sure what he’s talking about. “Okay…”
Lo laughs. “Ethan and Jakub were married for seven years, never played on the same team, and are still very happily married, Caulder. If for nothing else, they’re a testament to what beautiful things can come of something that’s meant to be. When you meet the right person.”
My heart stops. I’m pretty sure. “You think?—”
“I don’t want to jump the gun, but I haven’t stopped thinking about you. Did you miss that? Maybe you are and maybe you’re not, but two days away from you has me contemplating my life choices and planning some ridiculous shit just to see you again. I don’t need an answer to a question I’m not really asking. Just think about it.”
I shake my head. “I don’t need to. Yes. Me too. All of that. But we need?—”
“Secrecy. I know. Fortunately for both of us, we’re in exactly the same boat.”
My weight sags against the wall, a smile curling on my face.
“Now, tell me about your day,” Lo says. “I need to hear your voice.”
I don’t make it to Creed’s because I talk to Lo until he has to leave for his game, which is nine o’clock my time. Too late. I texted him with a white lie, but promise myself that I won’t make a habit of that.
