“Take it,” I insist. “We all deserve fans like you.”
She does, giving me a big smile. “Thank you!”
I nod, keeping the bear to my chest as I head down the chute. It cleared up while I was staring at the bear. I set it on top of my cubby and try to ignore it while I wrestle my way out of my pads and move toward the showers to wash the sweat and stink off me. While Idoscrub, I almost never feel quite clean and end up taking a second shower when I get home. Not all the time, but often.
I’m not in a hurry to get home tonight, though. Arizona has a game tonight too, so I know he’s not waiting for my call. When I’m dressed, I grab my new bear and hug him to my chest on the way out. It’s a surprisingly touching gift that I didn’t expect to appreciate quite as much as I do. But I keep it securely in my arms as I head for my car and amuse myself by buckling it in on the ride home.
I should name it. Obviously, Haines. It’s printed on the back of its jersey.
The silence of my car is a welcomed transition time between work and home. I appreciate the short commute. Not too long to get irritating, but not so short that I feel like I have no time to get into or out of work mode.
My house is dark when I pull up, which is to be expected. It’s almost too quiet now. Too empty. I’m far more aware of the silence and solitude in the days following Lo being here, though it’s been almost a week. We have plans that I’ll be flying to him tomorrow after my practice and he’ll be arriving in Chicago sometime around noon. We’ll spend twenty-four hours together, but that time will be interrupted by his game.
We debated whether I should attend the game. It’s not often I get to actually attend a game. But in the end, I decided that I don’t want to attract attention or be recognized. And as paranoidas it may sound, I also don’t want anyone to have any reason to think they can claim we hooked up in the arena bathroom.
Yep, that’s the reality of my current situation. I feel like I need to wear a camera all the time now, just to document who I’m around and when.
As I toss the bear on my bed, I see that there’s something on the back of the banner. Flipping it over, it reads “JUST SO YOU KNOW, THERE ARE FANS WHO NEVER STOPPED SUPPORTING YOU. I NEVER DOUBTED YOU.”
Now that I’m home, I let out the emotions this damned stuffed bear and the young girl who gave it to me stirred in me. A few hot tears trail down my face. I let them before taking a deep cleansing breath and wiping them away.
Maybe I’m more hurt by the outside world than I’m allowing myself to admit. My reaction to this kind gesture says as much. In a way, I did to them what I’ve been angry about them doing to me. We’re both wrong.
But how do you tell who’s a good person and who just wants a piece of you when you’re on the top? When you’ve had to jump through hoops that shouldn’t have existed to begin with to prove you’re not the shitbag that you’re accused of being? How do you look into the face of a stranger and determine which one of those people you’re looking at?
Taking a breath, I turn away from the bear and head into my closet to get out of my suit. It’s nearing eleven, but it’s three hours earlier in Arizona. Lo’s only an hour into his game. Probably just finishing up the second period.
I take a second shower as I often do and then fall into bed. My tablet is plugged in, propped against my nightstand where it always is. Bringing the bear next to me, I snap a selfie and send it to Lo, though I know he won’t get it for a while. Then I settle in, turn on the Arizona-San Jose game via the app on my tablet, and settle in to wait for my boyfriend to call me.
CHAPTER 34
LO
Pregnant lady erasedher live reaction to reading the paternity test. Unfortunately for her, there were many—many—who recorded, and those posts have gone viral many times over. Honestly, I’ve watched it several times. Her arrogance. The way she taunted Caulder that now he wouldn’t be able to deny her, and he’d have to be a father to her baby.
Imagine her shock and horror. Just picture it. As she reads it.“What is this shit? How did you manage to tamper with the DNA test? That’s bullshit and you know it!”
She doesn’t actually show the test online. She fumes for a solid three minutes before ending the video. It disappeared from her profile, only to reappear when she’s tagged no less than two dozen times as others repost her recorded live with captions like, “If you’re going to tell the story, keep the truth posted too.” And, “What, you don’t want proof of your lies?” My favorite by far is “Caulder Haines is far too gay for you, girl.”
I may have laughed at that one. I even liked the post. Whatever. I’m sure my like is lost somewhere in their notifications.
This chick remained silent for days. Days! I thought she’d finally gone away and given Caulder the peace he craved anddeserved. Nope. As soon as she was served with court papers notifying her of being sued for defamation and other stuff I only slightly understood—lawyers have their own damn language—she was back and ranting again.
“You can’t fudge a DNA test and then sue me for speaking up. This is shit and you know it. Just another man refusing to take responsibility for their actions. I will win this, you know. I have the fucking baby proof.”
My irritation for her may have spiked again. She should have just stayed away. Now she’s just adding more to the case against her. Maybe she doesn’t have a lawyer yet.
However, Caulder is mostly oblivious to her ranting online. The truth is out in the world and that’s all he cared about. As far as he’s concerned, she’s no longer an issue.
He’s right. She’s not. The paternity test has made her bed for her. It relieved him of any presumed guilt and freed him of her claims entirely. Even if she refuses to believe the test results, it’s not even like the test results had even the slightest percentage of probability where she could claim it possible. It was a 0% likelihood. Zero!
Caulder is back to who he was a month ago before she showed up online with her bullshit claims. What I appreciate about this whole thing is that, in a very public forum, it shows not all men are guilty because a woman accuses them of something. Women can also be an abuser. Just as was proven in the famous case against the legendary pirate actor and his estranged wife.
What I don’t appreciate is the way the entire justice system is a lie. We like to pretend everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but in reality, everyone is treated as guilty until they’re proven innocent. And that’s the bandwagon everyone jumps on. No one will look at the accused and ask them their story. No one listens to the accused when they tell their truth. It’s only upon absolutecertainty that science provides when finally, the veil of guilt is lifted, and the truth of innocence is finally believed.
I’d like to say something about this has given me some faith in humanity, but I’m not sure there’s a positive outlook on this.
“Ready, Lo?” Keno calls.
