“Beloved. Lover. Depending on context.”
His hand on my back moves down and grips my ass, hauling me closer. “I want to get off,” he whispers. “Lover.”
I grin, nodding. “Get off with me, Felton.”
There’s nothing elegant or sexy about the next several minutes as we rut against each other in the shower. Kissing,nipping, biting, licking. Our hands don’t stop moving. It would likely have been a little more efficient if we’d let one or the other take charge. I think we both want to touch each other, but are a little too cautious to do so.
We come within strokes of each other, and while this might be one of the least sensual moments, it’s probably one of the most enjoyable. Because it’s Felton. Listening to him come with me, knowing it’s just the two of us, makes everything inside me blaze with fire. I’m the only one touching him right now.
I’m hoping to keep it that way for a long time. For forever.
TWENTY-SIX
FELTON
I really likeRen’s parents. They’re super nice. Even if they’ve seen what’s on the internet about me, they haven’t said anything. I don’t always understand them because they talk quietly, and their accents are very thick. Usually if I take a minute to work it out, I can get it. Then there are times I glance at Ren, and he interprets for me.
Jin is nice too. He’s quiet and mostly observes. He sounds much like Ren except his voice is slightly deeper and his accent is definitely heavier. But he has the same smooth, quiet tone that I love about Ren’s.
It’s Christmas Eve, but it doesn’t feel like it. Ren’s house looks exactly like it always does. As we sit at the table for lunch, I wonder what it would look like decorated. Would it carry over into each room or be centralized in one?
“I should have asked this earlier,” Ren says and I look at him. “Are there Christmas Eve or Christmas Day traditions you’d like to do?”
I smile a little and consider Christmas. As an only child, I was never lacking as far as gifts were concerned. And they were good gifts. Things I wanted. But my reception was never right; I waseither too excited or not enough. I was laying on my thanks too thick or I could show a lot more gratitude. My requests should have been more reasonably priced or I should stop insulting them by asking for items that they could get at the flea market.
Nothing I did was how my father wanted me to be.
I can’t remember a time when it was different. The only thing I remember about holidays is how much time I put into thinking about how I could performexactlyhow my father would approve, so he’d smile and nod at me.
It never happened. That pit remained with me for every holiday and began carrying over into every single interaction with him. It has colored my holiday memories. Maybe there were a lot of traditions, but I don’t remember anything but my father.
“No,” I whisper and look down at my plate. There’s little movement at the table and I think maybe I should say something, but I can’t think of anything, so I don’t.
Ren’s fingers brush my hand and I look up. Especially since he told me PDA is considered disrespectful in front of parents and stuff. “We can make new traditions.”
The way my stomach flips when he includes himself in that truly threatens to return everything I’ve eaten onto my plate. The sappy warmth and hope that fills me with his words!
“You don’t celebrate Christmas, though. Do you?”
Ren shakes his head, pulling his hand from mine. “No. Back home, there are zero religious connotations to the holiday because Christianity makes up a very small part of the population in China. However, it’s become more popular for commercial reasons. Having been here for a couple decades, I can tell you it looks nothing like what you see here. Instead, it’s celebrated more like Valentine’s Day when you make a more concentrated effort to show someone you love how much they mean to you.”
I smile. “That sounds nice.”
“Did you celebrate religiously?” Jin asks.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say no, but the cross that’s always hung right inside our door flashes through my mind. There were probably half a dozen crosses on the walls throughout my house. Not once had they ever left their spot. I’ve stopped noticing them over the years, but chances are good they’re still there.
But I don’t remember ever seeing a bible, there’s never been prayer, there’s never been a reference to scripture or anything at all. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever stepped a foot inside a church of any kind. Even family weddings were held outdoors. Was there a priest or a justice of the peace?
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’m going to say that I don’t think so. Maybe the crosses in my house were… a statement?”
Jin tilts his head as he studies me. Probably trying to decide what I mean.
“I really don’t think we were religious. I’m not now and I don’t think I ever was. But I guess I’m not really sure about my parents or the rest of my family.”
He nods.
“Did you celebrate the religious holidays?” Ren asks.
