“Really?” Felton asks, skeptically.
Sighing, I press my lips to his again in a quick kiss, then rest my forehead against his. “Yes, really. You’re one of the best people I know.”
Felton shakes his head. I’m not sure he’s arguing with me so much as disbelieving me.
“Look at me.” He raises his eyes and I can see his insecurities shining out. “Iwantto be here. With you. If that’s something you want too.”
“Yes,” he says and his arm tightens around me. “I just… I didn’t think you… I don’t understand why you want me.”
“We’ll work on your self-image, Fel. But trust me when I tell you I’ve been fighting my attraction to you for a while now.” The surprise in his eyes has me smiling. “I’ve been trying to keep some distance between us because I know you’re going through some stressful and heavy shit, and I didn’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you in any way. All I want is what’s best for you. I want to lift you up. To make you smile and feel good about yourself. Idon’twant to take advantage of you, but you’ve been living a life where people do that at every turn. I won’t be one of those people, Fel. And if you’re not ready to share a bit of your life with me, that’s okay. There’s no hurry.”
“You’re not real,” he says, eyes narrowing. “I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”
I laugh and roll us, so he’s on top of me. Felton scrambles to get his arms free so he can lift his weight up as he stares down with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. But I pull his face down tomine. “If you’re dreaming, then so am I. I’ve been imagining this moment for a long time.”
“To be with me,” he clarifies.
“Definitely to be with you. I’m not even sure when that transition started in my head, but somehow, it’s always you I’ve been looking for when I didn’t realize I was looking for someone at all.”
I pull him down and he comes reluctantly. He’s a big guy and I think he’s conscious of just how big he is. But he eventually rests on top of me, gradually letting me take his weight as I bring my arms around him, hugging him to me.
Felton sighs. It’s so comfortable, so natural, that we both fall asleep and practically sleep the day away as we roll on the bed and adjust positions occasionally. I think more than anything, Felton needed to feel the comfort of knowing someone is there who wants to be there. Someone who wants to hold him and protect him from the world. So he gives in to the exhaustions he’s been carrying around and sleeps.
Me? I think I’m slightly dumbfounded by the way this morning went. When I made the decision to come over, it wasn’t with an agenda. I just wanted to see him. To be in his presence. To make sure he’s okay and not struggling with something.
I hadn’t planned to confess the shit that I’ve only barely worked out in my head. But here we are and I definitely don’t want to take any of it back. I don’t want this to change.
However, as it turns out, we’re a little too comfortable and by the time we wake up for real, it’s forty minutes before we’re supposed to be at the team’s holiday gathering. For this reason alone, we’re up and passing through his shower quickly without any groping and minimal touching. I had the foresight to bring my suit, so I leave Felton in his closet while I run out to grab it.
When I return, he’s right where I left him, so I take out the guesswork and hand him one of his suits. His shoulders relaxand he dresses with a grateful smile as I dress alongside him. There’s a sense of comfortable domesticity in this moment that under other circumstances I’d have taken a moment to reflect on.
However, we’re already going to be late, so I don’t have that luxury right now.
We arrive only twenty minutes later. I nod to where Willits and Dasan are sitting against the wall talking with Marion Arivitis and his wife. He gives me a smile and heads for them.
I watch, maybe admire, him for a minute before I turn and come face to face with my closest friends on the team. Only… something’s different. There’s a pretty girl on Denny’s arm. A pretty girl with a very obvious baby belly and a giant ring that keeps catching the light and blinding me.
Zenia is slightly behind him, looking at me with wide eyes.
“Hey,” Denny says, and I do the whole bro handshake with both of them. “This is my fiancée, Sally.”
I stare at him for probably a heartbeat too long before offering her a smile. She seems nice. And I have a lot of questions.
It’s a while before I can ask them when Sally’s sitting with the other wives, girlfriends, and dates of our teammates.
“I think you have some explaining to do,” I say, glancing at Felton for maybe the hundredth time.
“Dude, I think you do too,” Denny retorts.
“You first,” Zenia says. “Fiancée? What the fuck?”
Denny sighs. “She told me she was pregnant, and I panic proposed,” he explains. “I haven’t figured out how to get out of it yet.”
“You—wait, what?!” Zenia says. “Youpanic proposed? Is that even a thing?!”
The way Denny glares at Zenia, I decide that right now, I’m just going to listen. I don’t want that glare on me.
“Dude, when is she due?” Zenia asks.
