That Conrad and Benny were the absolute worst. Since the night of registration, they went out of their way to tease and demean me, but I knew it was because they wanted to fuck me. A virgin, I had never had sex with anyone, and I would be damned if it would be for either of them. They would keep trying, though. I suspected they had never been told “no” when it came to anything in their lives, and they constantly found more insulting ways to punish me for being the first.
I disappeared into the enclave of trees off to the side. There was a particular clearing not far from here, with a large tree that would soon lose its leaves. Until it did, it allowed me to haveanother spot to compose myself while staying hidden from sight. I dashed and weaved through the other trees until I found the one I was looking for, then I put my hands out on the bark, and dropped my head as the tears started to fall.
I had learned from a young age how to sob quietly. Never wanting my mother or sister to worry about me and my feelings, I had always tried to hide anything that could even be construed as sad or angry. They had enough to deal with, and neither needed me to make things all about me. My twin was my better half, and her strength was something I tried my best to channel, until times like this, when all I could do was cry.
Maybe it had been my sobbing or that I’d been lost in my thoughts because I hadn’t even heard the first crinkle of leaves underfoot to know someone was near. It was only when I heard a voice that I tensed and straightened back to full height immediately.
“...everything okay?”
“W-what?” I said as I slowly turned around. Before the boy had a chance to speak, I looked up at him. “You!”
This was one of Conrad’s friends. He was often around, and while he had come to my aid the night of registration, he had been a silent observer in almost every other encounter I’d had with those despicable boys.
“What about me?” he said, and I realized his voice didn’t hold the same righteous indignation that the others often did.
“Why are you here? Are you following me?”
“Yes,” he said without a thought. “You looked upset down at the pier, so I wanted to check on you.”
Breathing in, I held my breath and squared my shoulders. “As you can see, I’m fine. You can go ahead and leave now.”
“Are you really fine, though?” he asked me.
“Yes!” I said with more emphasis than I meant. “I’m okay, so please just go.”
“You’re saying one thing, but I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t care what you believe. Why won’t you all just leave me alone?”
“Us all? Do you mean Conrad, Benny, and the others?”
“Well, duh,” I said as I found some inner confidence.
“I’m nothing like any of them. I actually have respect for you, even if you are just...”
When he stopped mid-sentence, I started to throw out names I’d been called recently by his friends and other classmates. “Squatter...Maid...Servant...Babysitter...W-Whore...”
The last one tripped me up, and the tears that followed were a blatant sign of betrayal against myself. Using the back of one hand, I turned my head to wipe at my eyes before turning back toward him.
“I would never call you any of those things. I had only paused because I realized that I don’t know your name.” When I didn’t immediately offer it to him, he moved closer, but I somehow didn’t feel as threatened by him as I did with the others. Extending his hand to me, he cleared his throat before adding, “Mine’s Cillian Brannington, but you already know that.”
“I do?” I questioned.
“From the day of arrival.”
“Ahh, yes,” I said. “Mine’s Reagan.”
“Reagan. I like it. By chance, are you Irish?”
No one had ever asked me that, but I was. “Yes, my father’s side of the family is Irish. I only ever knew my paternal grandfather, though.” At least until my father walked out on my mother and us, and I never saw him again.
“I’m from Ireland. You ever been?”
I shook my head. “I’ve never been outside of this part of the state, except for the two times I’ve gone to New York City.”
It had been for the two bone marrow transplants I had undergone with Rowan at CHAM, or the Children’s Hospital atMontefiore. Both times, I had been kept isolated as well, and I’d been unable to see much of anything as my mother didn’t want me to pick up any germs which could harm my sister. I’d never want to be the cause of a setback, so I hadn’t even argued about it. Like I had everything else in my life, I simply accepted it and moved on.
“Did you like the city?” he asked me.
