There were no sparks whatsoever, and I now knew this relationship would never go anywhere. Could we get used to a routine and go through the motions? Absolutely, but it would be unfair to the both of us.
“I think you’re a very nice man, and I’ve enjoyed our conversations. I’m just not sure where you see this headed.”
“I’m working my way up in the company, then afterward, we can move to the suburbs and perhaps start a family. I would love kids one day.”
“I have a daughter,” I reminded him.
“I know. I just meant kids of my own. I’m sure your daughter is great. How could she not be with a mother like you? I’m just thinking of a son and daughter of our own, and possibly even a dog or cat. We could?—”
“You speak of Ciara as if she would just be there and nothing more.”
“I don’t mean it like that,” he said to me.
I saw the look in his eyes and his expression, and I smiled once more before standing up. “You do, and while I want you to find all of those things in life, I just don’t think I’m that someone for you.”
“Rowan, we can work on this. Maybe I need to spend some time with Sara, and?—”
“It’s Ciara. I’ve mentioned her name numerous times. This isn’t going to work, but I do wish you the best in your search for the one. I need to go.”
“At least let me settle the check and take you home.”
“It’s okay. I’ll schedule an Uber to come and get me. Goodnight and good luck.”
With that, I left the restaurant, then decided against an Uber and disappeared into the first taxi I saw lined up along the curb. I rattled off my address, then leaned back in the seat. Monica would be so disappointed when I told her that the date didn’t even make it to actual dessert, much less the kind she was hoping I would have.
There were no doubts or regrets in my mind as I got out of the taxi once I reached my building. There were other fish in the sea, as my mother used to tell me. I just needed to wade out of the shallow end to find them. I sighed as I slipped into the elevator. It was a good thing I had thought ahead and plugged up one of my toys. I would need it soon.
I’d had one of my men watching her for days now. I knew her every move, especially since she was such a predictable creature of habit. Reagan did the same things every day. She would bring Ciara to her elementary school, then head to the clinic for work. Most days, she would go to lunch with coworkers, or the woman I had later learned was a friend of hers. After her shift was over, she would pick up Ciara and head home, unless it was on Wednesday, when she would stop by a neighborhood market for groceries.
If I had to guess, I would say that was her payday. Other than that, she would go home and stay until the next day, when she would do the same thing all over again. That sense of predictability was one of the first things I had ever noticed about her at Summit Crest Preparatory.
As much as some things change, others stay the same.
As I forced my thoughts back to my research, the only days that were different were the weekends. Just last week, I’d been at the park watching her read a book while Ciara played with other kids her age on the swing set and slides. They’d often stopat a street-side vendor for lunch and/or ice cream, before going back home. I had expected much of the same tonight until Oscar told me that she was headed out alone in a dress that could stop traffic.
The idea of her dating filled me with a rage that I couldn’t quite describe. And I had no idea why it did, only that knowing some other man would touch what had once been mine had me seeing a shade of red I had never seen before.
Not when I was forced to endure torture because of her.
Not when my grandfather threatened her life.
And definitely not when he’d ended it as I’d once believed.
Although I’d been so beside myself during that period of grieving that even blue couldn’t accurately depict that I’d been. Pitch black, and until learning I now had a daughter, it’d been what I was. Dark and black inside.
But now, I could see another man drawing out the same sort of cries I once had, and feeling her tight warmth wrap around his cock, resembling the closest thing to Heaven on Earth, but mostly touching, fucking, kissing, and seeing what I had branded myself upon so many years earlier. I’d put my fucking ring on her damn finger, and marriage was until death do us part.
Only you didn’t die, but you will soon. Once you do, it’ll have been at my hands and no one else’s.
I knew then that I had to make my move tonight. She hadn’t been dating anyone up until this point, and I couldn’t allow whatever this was to get serious for her. The very idea of another man raising my child also sent my blood boiling. Tonight, I would have all that was mine.
And hanging onto some masochistic thread of self-destruction, I’d personally followed her to the restaurant. Stalking was so far beneath me, but I hadn’t been able to help myself. Reagan had always had the ability to make me actuncharacteristically, and she still did. That too, also infuriated me.
I’d tagged along in the shadows though, and it took everything inside of me not to do more than growl at the sight of her date’s hand low on her backside as he’d led her into the restaurant. The remembrance of all that soft skin had me stuck in an endless warp of memories that didn’t bring comfort, but my possible downfall instead. They did not bring joy, but rather felt like a noose tightening around my neck.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to intervene or even cause a diversion because by the time dinner was done, she’d left alone and gone straight home. After she disappeared through the doors, I got out of my parked car and quickly followed her.
Oscar had been able to compile quite a profile on this Rowan Lynch. She was my Reagan, no matter which name she decided to go by. I knew her mannerisms, and had often seen them in both my dreams and nightmares as I’ve relived every second I’d ever spent with her over the years I’d thought she was gone. I’d mourned her, and still was. Not anymore.
