I look down between my legs, seeing a spot of red on his pale blue sheets. My chest goes red, and I somehow flush with embarrassment. I feel him moving to sit up beside me.
“Are you okay?” he mumbles, kissing my shoulder.
I feel myself nodding, the reality of what we just did beginning to settle over me like a heavy blanket. It’s not regret; it’s just … awareness. After all this time, it finally happened. I nibble my lower lip before peering up at him.
He rubs a comforting hand over my back. “I’m going to get something to clean you up, okay?” His weight moves the mattress as he gets up and goes into the bathroom.
I scoot back and exhale a deep breath. My body feels wrung out, and I know I’ll be sore in the morning. The desire to crawl under the covers and hide is nearly overwhelming, but I force myself to play it cool. I grab his long-sleeved shirt that I was wearing earlier and slip it over my head. I hear him running the water in the sink before he walks back out, now with a pair of gray sweatpants on. He’s holding a damp washcloth.
“Lie back,” he instructs.
I do as told, leaning back against his headboard as he uses the warm washcloth to clean up between my legs. My heart squeezes with his tender movements.
He finishes up and tosses the washcloth into the dirty clothes hamper by the bathroom door. He starts removing the corners of the fitted sheet. I get off the bed and help him.
“I got this. You should go to the bathroom. It’s good for you to do that after, I mean.” He goes into the closet and returns with a fresh set of darker blue sheets.
I go into the bathroom, feeling relieved the second I start to pee. When I get back into his room, he’s finishing up the bed and throwing the pillows back onto it.
He walks over to me, grabs my hand, and leads me to the bed. “You lie down. I’m going to get us some water. Are you hungry?”
I shake my head and lie down. He pulls the covers up to my chin before he kisses my forehead. My mind is swirling with awe and confusion as I watch his retreating back.
What does this mean?
Sam is so fucking hot and sweet, and I’m so in love with him, but I absolutely have to play it cool.
Play. It. Cool.
He’s just a guy you slept with. You’re dating other people because he’s never been interested.
Until now.
Rosie’s words come floating back into my brain about making him wait.
Well, that ship has sailed.
But I can still make him take the lead and prove how much he wants me. I can make him confess his feelings first and tell me what this means. I can sit back and relax and act like nothing has changed.
Once he gets back into the room, he’s carrying two glasses of ice water in one hand and a plate with pecans and crackers and cheese cubes in the other. He sets one cup and the plate beside me on the nightstand.
“Just in case you decide you’re hungry.”
My heart squeezes.
He brought me a snack. In case I’m famished after sex.
He walks around to the other side of the bed, closest to the door. He grabs the remote and clicks on the huge TV that’s mounted on the wall.
“Should we finishTwilight?” he asks.
I nod dumbly. I’m nibbling on a cube of cheese and sipping my water. But I stayed on my side of the bed, despite the overwhelming urge to scoot closer to him and feel the warmth of his skin.
He navigates to the movie and skips to the part where we left off, where Edward rescues Bella from the creeps trying to assault her after she buys the book about vampire legends. Sam lets the movie play for two minutes before he sits up, turns to me, shoves his hands under my shoulders and knees, and scoops my body up with one movement.
He deposits me in the center of his bed and adjusts some pillows behind my head before he settles back in, his arms draped around my shoulders. He pulls me toward his chest and shoves his leg under one of mine.
My heart gushes with a wild mountain stream of emotions. He wants me near him, touching him, watching my favorite movie in his bed. I thought we’d agreed this was just to gain experience, which I never would’ve imagined included sleeping in the same bed.
