It feels like my throat is closing up. I lick my lips, trying to think of something to say, but the words are caught on my tongue.
He smiles at me, leaning down to brush a kiss on my lips. “What? That hard of a choice, huh?”
The sliding glass doors open, and I hear Duke ask Cash if he wants a beer.
“Maybe we should talk about it later,” I murmur.
Duke comes to stand beside us, his expression solemn. He takes a swig of his beer and looks out over the valley. He hasn’t spoken to me or Sam in five days.
“Do you want more wine?” Sam asks me.
“Sure, just a little.”
He takes my glass and walks inside.
Duke turns to me, his eyes raking over me. “I’m just confused about how it all happened. I’m not mad anymore. I just … fuck, it feels like Holden and Rosie all over again.”
“This is so different. You didn’t date Sam, did you?”
He rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. I was in the dark, and y’all were sneaking around behind my back. When did it start?”
Sam walks back out to the deck and hands me a half a glass of red wine. He’s made himself what looks like an old-fashioned.
“That day she brought me the coffee cake after the funeral,” Sam offers, wrapping his arm around my shoulders again.
Duke’s face blanches.“That long?”
“We didn’t start sleeping together then,” I quickly add.
Duke’s face is twisted in a mix of hurt and disgust. “I don’t wanna hear about that part. I just mean, when did you start liking each other? You’ve always said you viewed her like a sister.”
“I’veneverviewed her that way. I always thought she was the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen and way too good for me, so I basically just ignored her and treated her the way you did so it would seem like I did.”
“So, you two never did anything before, when we were younger?” Duke asks.
“No. I still think she can do much better than me. But when y’all asked if she could move in with me, I just … couldn’t fight the temptation anymore.” Sam shakes his head, like he’s disappointed in himself.
Duke glares at him, as if Sam did something horrible.
I finally speak up. “I’ve always had a crush on him. Ever since he moved to Moonlight. I tried getting his attention any chance I could. And he just ignored me and played with you boys. It sucked.”
“I’m sorry, baby. It was purely self-preservation. I knew he’d try to kill me.” Sam kisses my cheek. “I’ll spend forever making it up to you.”
I twist out of his arms and turn to face him head-on. “You keep saying things like that and about the wedding venue and that you always thought I was a ‘beautiful creature’ and all these things that are messing with my head. But you haven’t even asked me to be your girlfriend yet.”
“Yeah, man, what’s up with that? Do you wanna be with her, or are you just using her?” Duke adds.
Sam ignores him, reaching down to grab my free hand. “Shit, Dolly, I didn’t even know you wanted that. I was getting ready to ask you if you wanted to elope and move in with me. But we can start there. Seems like we’re way past that part.”
He stares at me sincerely, and my mind struggles to keep up.
He wants to elope and for me to move in.
Duke speaks up. “What? Are you kidding me? You can’t just jump to moving in and eloping! You just said you don’t think you’re good enough and you spent years ignoring her and pretending she was your sister. Give me some damn time to catch up. What’s changed, Seymour?”
My heart is racing. I want Duke to shut up and get out of our business, but I want to hear Sam’s answer too. And Duke’s right … it’s a huge jump.
Sam responds to his best friend, but his eyes never leave mine. “Because I knew if I let myself love her, that’d be it. I knew my whole world would revolve around her. She’s the rising sun. She owns me. I’m bound to lose her someday because life is full of pain and heartbreak and loss. But at least I get her for as long as possible. And I’ll never take her for granted once she’s mine.” He lifts my hand to his lips, pressing a warm kiss to my cold knuckles.
