I may be sinking into the darkness with Gabriel but that doesn’t mean I can’t become a better person.
I take the subway to Luca’s house but I don’t knock on the door. Instead, I wait for Nina to leave. I know she always goes to a yoga class this time of day.
As if on cue, she leaves the house, her yoga mat over her shoulder. Before she can get in her car, I rush to her side.
“Nina.”
She gasps and whirls around. “Susanna,” she breathes out. “What are you doing here? That doesn’t matter. You’re alive.” She wraps her arms around me and holds me close.
And I hold her back. But I expected to feel warmth when I hugged my sister. Instead, all I can think about is how much I miss Gabriel’s arms around me.
“Come in,” she says, ushering me to the door.
“I can’t stay. I have to get back.”
“Back to where?”
I hesitate and she narrows her eyes.
“Back to Gabriel?” she asks. “Luca told me you put yourself in front of him to save his life.”
“Did Luca also tell you he didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger on me to get to Gabriel?”
She sucks in a breath. “No, he didn’t.”
“Your husband may love you but he doesn’t love me. He is willing to kill me to kill Gabriel.”
“So why don’t you come inside then? You’re free of Gabriel. You’ll be safe here and then Luca can go kill him for you.”
“But I don’t want Gabriel dead.”
She blinks, clearly not understanding what I’m telling her. “Susanna, I… what is going on?”
“I married him.”
“I know. But he forced you into that.”
“No, he didn’t.”
She blows out a heavy breath. “What are you telling me?”
“I’m telling you that I want to live my life with Gabriel. He accepts me for me. Which is more than I can say of most people. But I had to see you again. I missed you too much. I had to let you know that I’m alright. That I’m alive.”
“Susanna…”
“I need to go back now. Gabriel will wonder where I am. He’ll be angry. I don’t want him to hurt you.”
“So let Luca kill him then. Then he can’t hurt me.”
“I don’t want him dead,” I admit.
Her eyes widen. “Do you… do you care for him?”
“I chose to marry him. He gave me the option and I chose it. He didn’t force me.”
She slumps against her car. “Susanna, why would you do this? You always cause problems.”
I flinch. “See? That right there. That’s why I want to be with Gabriel. You’ll always see me as the immature little girl I used to be. And I’ll fully admit, I was a horrible person when I was younger. But I’m not choosing Gabriel to cause problems. I’m choosing Gabriel because he accepts me for me. He doesn’t think I’m a problem.”
